New Girl| Gmw. (Rucas)

26

Today I went back to school for the first time since I went into hospital. Needless to say that I was panicking. I have a lot of anxiety surrounding going back to school. But I had Maya to stick by me so I was more than ready! I didn't go back into lessons until second period. I had a meeting first.

I wasn't quite ready to go back to wearing my shorts after what Missy said to me so I opted for a pair of high-waisted blue jeans and a pink crop top.

I ended running down the street to get the bus but I had just missed it as I heard someone calling my name.

Lucas: Riley... Riley... I know we're not exactly talking at the moment but I can give you a ride?

Riley: Sure, thanks.

It had been so long since I got on to the bank of his bike. But I just slipped right back into the routine. It felt like the beginning of the school year all over again.

Lucas: you ready?

Riley: yeah I'm ready.

As I got to school I saw Maya give me the look. She was hoping something was going on. I know she wanted us to get back together. I did to. I was somebody else when I was with him.

Maya: what's going on with you two then?!

Riley: nothing... Yet.

Maya: you said yet! Omg this is so cute you wanna get back with him!!!

Riley: maya shhhhhh, I don't want people to know. Yes I do wanna get back with him but I don't wanna get hurt again.

Maya: I know what you mean. I mean if Farkle did to me what he did to you he would be dead!

Riley: okay, thank you maya.

Maya: I'm sorry.

Riley: I know and I'm sorry I'm just tens about being back hear.

Maya: it's all good no one is even looking at you.

Riley: your so right. What was I worried about.

In the meeting it was all about if I was okay. Was I stable. What medication I was on. When I had to take it.

On my walk to my locker I heard maya calling me.

Maya: Riley, Riley.

Riley: oh hey maya.

Maya: hey so you back in lesson now?

Riley: yep, what lessons do we have now? 

Maya: history. Coming?

Riley: yep.

Through out all of history I could see Lucas starring at me. I didn't mind it. Again it made it  feel like the beginning of the year. Like I was getting a fresh start. I heard Mr Cameron say we had to work in groups of four for some Egyptian project.

Mr Cameron: okay so Lucy, James, Missy and ermmmm...

Missy: pick Lucas.

Mr Cameron: for that Missy I shall not Marcus you can be in this group.

Missy: That's not fair!

Mr Cameron: I don't care. Lucas you can be in a group with Maya, Farkle and Riley.

Maya: ooooo Riles were with Lucas.

Riley: shut up.

Mr Cameron: Do we have a problem?

Riley: no, no problem.

As I carried on with the lesson I felt Lucas tap my shoulder.

Riley: hey.

Lucas: hey

Riley: anything important you wanna tell me?

Lucas: oh yh, I just got lost in your eyes...

Riley: smooth...

Lucas: yh I know, anyway come round mine tonight we will get started in the project.

Riley: cool

Lucas: cool.

After that lesson I could contrite, so I went into the music studio. The only place were everything made sense. I obviously walked over to the piano.

Riley: Everywhere is still
everything is restless in my heart
I hate the way this feels
suddenly I'm scared to be apart.
The days are dark when you're not around
the air is getting hard to breathe.
I wish that you would just put me down
I wish that I could go to sleep.

Loving you is suicide
I Don't know should I go or should I stay?
I'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late.
But I heard you say you loved me.
That's the part I can't forget
and I wish that you'd come save me
cause' I'm standing over the edge.

I should let you go

tell myself the things I need to hear
but my brain is wired wrong.
That's why i'm loving you when you're not here.
Feels like I drown in your every word
and every breath that's in between.
Somehow you got me where it really hurts
And it's killing every part of me.

Loving you is suicide.
I don't know should I go or should I stay.
I'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late.
But I heard you say you loved me
that's the part I can't forget.
And I wish that you'd come save me boy
cause I'm standing over the edge.

loving you is suicide
and my world's about to break
And I... had as much as I can take
and love is a long way down.

Loving you is suicide
and it's getting harder everyday.
I'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late.
And I'm way past every moment
but I'm still determined to fight
and I know it's taking all my strength
to keep emotion alive.
Loving you is suicide

Lucas: that's beautiful.

Riley: Lucas?!  What are you doing in hear?

Lucas: a simple thanks would of been fine.

Riley: what do you want Lucas?

Lucas: you, I miss you. I still love you Riley.

Riley: don't say it if it isn't true!!

I was now choking back the tears as I once again fell out if the music studio.

Riley: I'll see you tonight. At 7 yh.

Lucas: ermmmm yh.

I finally got my balance and bolted home. Why would he say that!  How could he say that! He cheated not me!