Stranger | Taka

Chapter 13: Liar

Of course, what Taka said this morning was just something he said to back me up. He tends to always save me at the perfect times and I truly am thankful for that. For him. And what happened last night because it turns out-

"It was Taka's birthday yesterday??!!!!! No way!!! F/N, it was Taka's birthday yesterday."

"Okay I'm still surprised that you're not knocked out yet after coming back home from whatever happened last night but I'm more surprised that you, as a HUGE fan of Taka and ONE OK ROCK, didn't even know it was his birthday. Wow, that was long. I need to breathe."

F/N decided to sleep over at my apartment last night, which is the reason why she's here at the moment. But most likely for the wifi because she didn't pay for hers..We are both now sitting on the couch in the living room. F/N was on the laptop while I am currently on my phone.

"I think I had my sleep and I forget things like this easily okay? You know me."

"Mhm and knowing you, you would be asleep by now."

She's right. I would be, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to fall asleep again. It isn't because of the shock of finding out that Taka's birthday was yesterday, but because I can't get over what happened last night and this morning. It's like none of it was real. As if it was a dream. Except, none of it was a dream. It was real and that is something that will continue to stick in the back of my mind for who knows how long..Including a certain someone.

"So this means that you're cool with me stealing Taka's number the other day and telling him to go to E/N's wedding in my place?"

"I seriously can't believe you did that," I pause for a second and then speak, giving F/N an annoyed look.

"I'll take that as a yes. Hey, you got to spend time with him on his birthday and I bet he had as much of a great time as you did," she replies once she reads my facial expression.

Last night, he only had a couple glasses of wine. Knowing Taka, he would usually drink the night away with anyone he's close with. How could he have possibly had a so-called great time if he did that and wasted his time being with me until this morning? Having such a thought something inside of me grows and it isn't anger. More like me not being able to do something for him in return for the many things he has done for me. Yeah..I definitely lost count of the amount of times he has been there for me which makes me feel really bad. What a good friend I am to him....I am that to him at least now...right?

"I'm going to sleep."

"I thought you said-"

"I'm going to sleep."

Like what I always do, I'll just sleep my mixed emotions and thoughts away. Probably forever.

• • • •

"Hey F/N."

F/N and I decide to meet after work just because. I don't get to see my family members as much so it's good to have a close friend like her around. Plus, I'm not feeling so good still.

"So how was work?"

"Okay."

"Urgh. What's wrong with you now? If you're hungry let's go get some good ass food!"

"Sorry, F/N. I don't have the appetite to eat."

Seeing the unusual look on my face, F/N holds back on trying to convince me to go eat with her.

"Tell me. I'm all ears."

"About what?" I ask as I turn my head to look at her skeptically.

In return, F/N doesn't answer and just waits for me to speak again.

"I don't know what's wrong with me lately. And it's not about me forgetting about Taka's birthday. I would solve that by just calling or texting him but most of the time he's busy and doesn't even read my texts. I've been so used to it up until now, but for some reason, that's been bugging me the most. It's like I miss him more than usual that it's making me feel so..I don't know."

"..Oh my god. You seriously love him."

"What? Of course I 'love him'. I've been a fan-"

"That's not what I meant. I mean, you fell in love with Taka. By Taka I mean the Stranger that you met when you first went to Japan. You've seen sides of him that most fans don't and because of that, you got to know the real Taka and now you love him."

After hearing F/N's explanation, I can't bring myself to say a single word. I know what I want to say back to her, but when I try to open my mouth, my mind goes back to repeating what F/N just said to me. Part of me knows she is right and another part of me doesn't want to accept it.

"That's not possible...Love is the same for anything even when it comes to idolizing someone," I finally answer back.

F/N looks like she knows what's going on in my mind. Most likely because she saw me try to speak but couldn't.

"No, it's not. Stop lying to yourself again and accept it. It's not a bad thing to be in love again, especially with someone like Taka."

"That's the main reason why I shouldn't be in love with him!"

I really didn't mean to scream like that at her. Now everyone around us is giving us strange looks as they walk passed us while F/N and I stop walking along the sidewalk. What's worse is that I can't bring myself to calm down.

"He is famous for something he loves to do while I am a college student who still doesn't know what to do in life, which proves that we are total opposites. We live in two totally different worlds. And what's worse is that I am his biggest fan."

This time, F/N doesn't know what to say back. It's because what I just said is also true. Deep down, it pains me that I am still such a mess and that things never work out how I want them to.

"You're right. But up until now, did all of that get in the way of you and Taka's relationship? Even though so many things happened, you and Taka found a way to see and speak to each other again. Coincidences also don't happen for no reason, Y/N. Most importantly, there are Taka's feelings."

I am so confused that all I do is forcefully yet weakly laugh out loud.

"How could I leave that out..Taka would never love someone like me. You know what? Let's just forget about all of this so we can move on with our lives normally again," I say before leaving F/N behind.

"Wait!! Y/N!!!!!"

There's no way I can look and walk back now. But...

It really sucks that F/N is always right.

Thinking about what she said again earlier while walking along the sidewalk alone, I have to agree with her. I really can't lie to myself anymore. Not in my head nor' heart. So I take back what I said with F/N.

I do love Taka.

I also don't want to forget everything we just discussed and move on because last time I did that, someone rescued me from a never ending path of darkness and my own demons. And I'm afraid if I make the same mistake, then I will end up going through another hell.

I won't lie to myself. Not anymore. I'll face my problems head on so whatever happens, happens.