Don't be Chicken (on hold)

Two; Welcome

I loved ranch dressing

You could put it on anything from mashed potatoes, Ramon noodles, chicken, rice. It all tasted fabulous.

However, I didn't prefer my grandparents Farm/Ranch. I'm not a city girl, but everyone has their preference to where they would rather live. For me? That was my home in PA.

Arizona was beautiful, don't get me wrong. It was mostly desert with multiple crops and farm land. I never been to a desert before, maybe that's why it felt so fascinating.

          The plane ride was tiresome, I mostly slept the whole way there. I did text Danni to tell her my conversation with Carson. She found it essentially frightening, as did I.

Carson was possessive, that I knew.

He took me to Homecoming last year and he got mad if any guy ever looked at me. He enjoys having control over me and I was sick and tired of it. Carson was persuasive too. He managed to lead girls to bed - most of them were before me. I didn't realize it until now, but maybe that was why he wouldn't let go of me.

He wanted to have sex first.

It absolutely blew my mind that guys could be so heartless, I didn't understand. I shook my head as I looked out the plane window, admiring the warm breeze and fluffy clouds.

I seemed relatively calm - I was actually freaking out. I hadn't seen Grandma Jo and Paps since I was 10 years old when we went down there for A family reunion. My family wasn't really the family type.

Grandma Jo and Paps are my Dads parents. That's why they have a Farm with dozens of cattle, horses, chickens. You name it, it's there. My mom doesn't really care for them, but I think she just wanted me out of her hair for the summer.

I was just a pesky fly to her.

Grandma Jo was old - obviously - She wore glasses and walked around with a cane that was too tall for her. Paps on the other hand, was much more in shape. He worked around the farm day and night, along with the Hired worker he has.

They live in a excluded big farm towards the North of Arizona. They rarely ever talk to the outside world and I was almost positive they didn't have internet connection.

        I doubt they even had a TV.

I didn't watch TV 24/7 but it was a nice luxury to have now-a-days.    

Grandma Jo picked me up from the airport in a cute farm dress and sandals. As soon as I saw her I was shocked to see her looking so lively. She seemed generally excited with a happy smile and small dimples. Just seeing old people smile makes my heart turn to liquid.

"Aw Karman, you're so grown up"
She said in the typical grandma greeting.

"Thanks Grandma, it's so nice to see you" I said excitingly even if I was acting a tiny bit. I loved my Grandma, but after not seeing someone for so long - conversation grew silent very quickly. 

                   "How's Pennsylvania treating ya'll?" She asked in her southern accent. I loved accents, occasionally I wished I had one myself.

                   "It's fabulous. I have good grades, the sheep are good..." I said, but I soon realized I was leaving out a very important piece of information. The divorce.

             I could tell she realized I choose to leave that part out, she didn't bug me about it.  Inside I was dying, I was suffocating on my own words. Just being here in Arizona hurt my heart, I knew it would be 3 months till I saw my family again. Even if my parents constantly fought, at least I would get to see them. I wish it could be like old times when we were happy.

          But it could never be the same again.

              Never

Here I was -- talking to my Grandma in the middle of a airport. The Grandma I hadn't seen since I was 10 years old.

           "Well, we're all excited to see ya" She offered a smile and continued as we made our way though the crowded airport. "You remember Dusty?" She asked brightly.

Dusty was my cousin. She is in the same grade as me. Just because our families don't talk in person doesn't mean we don't keep tabs on them over Facebook and Instagram. Let me tell you -- Dusty's Instagram was filled with nonsense selfies and pictures with her friends.

                 Her black hair was richer than silk, she had to put coconut oil in that mess of hers.

Technically I couldn't judge her yet since I haven't personally talked to her in years.    All I know is she's tall and single, it was almost surprising that she didn't have a boyfriend.

The day of the family reunion we had a picnic, I remember specifically. Dusty and I were playing on the tire swing along with our other cousins, our hair was in pig-tails tied with blue ribbons. I even remember the pink flowery dress I was wearing. It was pretty, until dust and mud had covered every inch -- that was thanks to Dusty who pushed me in the muddy pile.

       I was furious, more than furious actually. But I figured that happened way too long ago to hold against her.

              "Yeah, I remember her" I said while clenching my teeth.

           "Fabulous" she exclaimed while clapping her hands together. "Dusty's staying with us for the summer too, she loves it at the farm. Once we get home I'll have her give ya a tour" Grandma said happily. We scurried to her red beat-up truck and hopped inside. 

             "That's cool, a tour would be nice" I said. In reality I wasn't that happy about it. I wasn't sad about it either, I just didn't know how to react I guess. 

I brushed my fingers through my ratted long hair. The heat was almost overwhelming, it was defiantly hotter than PA ever was.  I felt sweat gathering behind my neck, and my hands were already sweaty enough from worrying. 

As we drove down the excluded road I realized the distant tumble weeds to the side and the flying gust of dust. It all looked so.... Not Pennsylvania. So not me.

            "How were your grades darling?" Grandma asked. I sighed.

       "Great! I'm top in my class" I said. I wasn't trying to brag or anything, but I thought that was a good accomplishment to tell Grandma.

               "You always did get good grades" Grandma said with a head nod.    That was true, I did get good grades. I smiled and glanced out the window. The fields zipped by quicker than I expected. Windmills, Farms, Cows. I couldn't stop the silent frown that made its way onto my face.

             I was alone in a town of people that I barely remembered. I was alone in big giant fields -- all I could do was look for a way out. But I was in a corn maze and there wasn't a available exit, I was lost in a world I didn't know.

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Thanks for getting this far and please vote and comment !!! Thank you so much!!  The girl up above is Dusty