Don't be Chicken (on hold)

Five; Maybe Chores are a good thing ;)

  1. Collect eggs
2. Feed the horses
Plus, I had to do Dusty's chores which consisted of cleaning the stalls. Let me tell you - I absolutely knew nothing about horses.  So I went where the messenger told me to go; Noah.

I didn't necessarily go looking for him, but after I successfully collected the eggs while baring the horrible smell, I set out to the horse barn where I first met Noah, the gorgeous barn boy. 

To much of my disappointment he was no where in sight, so I set off to feed the horses by myself. I threw in piles of hay and grain and then set them free from their cooped up stalls. They furiously went running farther than the eye could see, I wished I could be that free.   I went to the tool shed where I found muck boots, a shovel and a wheelbarrow.  I assumed theses tools were used for cleaning barns so I trudged through the dry dirt to the first stall on the check-list.

At first I assumed that Horse poop wouldn't smell, but I was completely wrong. Once I picked up the first load I could smell the stench even with my nose plugged.   Suddenly the fresh air this morning was no longer existent, instead I could only smell horse butt.

I expected to get done sooner than later, but unfortunately my first wheelbarrow wasn't even filled yet. My patience was being tested.

           "Having fun?" I heard a familiar voice announce. I whipped around - completely caught off guard, Noah smiled as energy started to course through my veins.

          "Something like that" I chuckled, trying to make this conversation normal.  He laughed and wiped his hands on his shirt. His dimples caused serious pains in my heart. Just by looking at this handsome, sexy man in front of me I imagined a actor that resembled Noah's body structure. Scott Eastwood. Broad shoulders and a strong stomach, my heart started to melt like the wicked witch of the west.

              "Did you live on a farm in Pennsylvania?" He asked while leaning against the stall door. I rested the shovel against wheelbarrow and held my hands tightly together.

          "I mean, not really. We had sheep. That's about it" I said with a small smile. What if he only likes country girls?

                Lemonade.

        "I defiantly prefer sheep more than horses or cows, they stink less" He chuckled.  In that moment I noticed somethings more closely about his face, pimple free. Small delicate scars covered his face where a larger one was etched into his forehead. His nose was slightly crooked but that didn't change the way his face was a lantern in the dark. He was perfect in the most imperfect way.

               "Me too" I said, slowly taking control of the transferring energy and getting back to work on shoveling horse crap.

                  "Need any help?" He asked politely yet strongly. I analyzed the situation closer and soon realized that if I wanted to get this done by noon I would defiantly need help.  I eagerly nodded.

*

For the rest of that morning we cleaned stalls together. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward or weird, we just cleaned stalls and talked like we were old friends.

"What's your favorite color?" He asked me, his mouth formed in a beautiful smile. We were nearing the end of our labor and I never noticed how much fun I was having until it was almost over.

"Defiantly orange. What about you?" I asked, I was suddenly curious to know everything about him, as weird as that may sound. His eyes sparkled in the sun from the hole in the roof and I instantly saw the glint of peace his mind held.

"I'm more of a Navy blue kind-of guy." He said with a slight laugh. I couldn't contain my smile as it spread from ear-to-ear.

With the last shovel of poop in the wheelbarrow I let myself relax. I was tired, my shoulders ached and I was more than sad that our conversation had to end. I walked over to the stall door and leaned against it - looking out into the open land and open sky, I began to see the Beauty in things, even things like shoveling poop.

Birds flew from tree to tree and the horses ran around the pasture, even the pond was beautiful in its own silent way. "What's your favorite thing about this place?" I asked, although my question was more of a silent thought. Noah leaned beside me, his arm resting against mine. My blood pressure began to rise and I was positive it was because of Noah, not because I ate too much sodium.

"The peacefulness. It's all so - fascinating. There's no drama, no worries. It's life, away from all those idiotic people" He said. He looked at me with a calm smile, one that could warm the heart with just one look. I understood, but I didn't.

"Doesn't the silence drive you crazy?" I asked, my heart started to pound in my chest for more reasons than one.

"Occasionally, but usually the silence only kills when there's something you're  trying to avoid"

and he was right, the silence killed my soul like a stab wound to the heart. The silence killed my heart like a arrow shot straight through, I was lost in a world of silence and I was slowly going mad.

•*•*•*•*

I only thought about sadness occasionally, defiantly not all the time. Some days I was happy like a smiling unicorn or rainbow - Other days I frowned like Grumpy cat because of my regret.

It was nightfall, and the stars were coming out to shine through the evening. The moon aluminized my furniture in the guest room.

I wondered how Dusty was, although it wasn't my job to worry about her I couldn't help but hope that she was doing well. Luckily Grandma didn't ask where she was, maybe she understood how teenagers were with their free time and their party life.

As I lay there in my bed I thought about home. I thought about Mom and Dad. I thought about how everything was handling back at home without me. I just wanted a family.

Growing up,my family wasn't close. We didn't have game night or family dinners, or even family reunions all that much. It made me sad because for years I just wanted a family that could love each other more than anything in the whole world.    I just wanted to know what true love felt like, I wanted to know how a real family acted.

Divorce. Divorce is an awful cruel thing. The way it tears family apart like they're worth nothing. It tears family's apart like a bad homework grade is torn and thrown away.

Their whole marriage is flowing down the drain because of one selfish person I barely even knew anymore.

I was silly.

I sat by the window, unable to close my eyes once again. I lay awake like the moon was energetic and alive. While the sun slept I stayed awake with the moon to talk with the man who sat on the moon with a fishing rod. I watched as it shined - sending reflections over the pond.

Then my eyes wandered across features of the farm and landed on the very red barn Noah stayed in.

I sat there, slowly looking at every inch of darkness there was. I missed home, I missed Dad and Dani. I missed everything about Pennsylvania.

I realized something tonight that I never thought I'd know. Noah was right; I was trying to avoid something. I sniffled - noticing that I needed to stop avoiding and start facing my fears. A large, salty tear escaped my eye and I began to cry.

________
Hey guys, threw a little drama at you at the end haha : )

Thanks for reading and don't forget how HOT Noah is ; ) && please check out my book that's coming soon "Fear of the Depth" when I say coming soon I really mean like next month. Oops.

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