Don't be Chicken (on hold)

Twenty four; I love you

I didn't know where we were going. Noah didn't tell me.

He just drove in the silence like it was normal, but I didn't feel normal.

He was tense, unbelievable tense. When I moved my hands a certain way he would flinch, I didn't consider it weird - just not his normal behavior. 

The night air breezed past us really fast, it was exciting and breathtaking. Amazing. I shifted my hands from around his chest so I could be closer to him, and he let of a gorgeous sound I've never heard escape his lips before. It was a soft groan.

I moved my hands again so maybe he would stop making those sounds, but instead, I unmistakably touched something that I didn't mean to touch. I could hear Noah's breath hitch, and his body grew tense like it was the whole ride. I quickly jolted my hands away while my cheeks heated up with embarrassment. This should not be happening.

When Noah was fighting I realized how much older than me he was. Mentally and physically. How is it possible that a grown man, wants to date me? It just seems so surreal and unlikely that I can't take it anymore - but at the same time I don't want it to end.

As soon as we started nearing the clearing I instantly recognized where we were going. The little spot in the woods, by the lake and the little picnic table. Going there now seemed like a perfect way to spend the evening, especially after what happened at the party. He parked the motorcycle in his usual spot and got up from his seat- he didn't say a word.

I followed him to the picnic table where he already sat down. The trees around us didn't seem to notice how tense we both were. The lake was calm, and all in all it was a beautiful night, I just wish one of us had the guts to say something.

The air was brisk and chilly, but I didn't want his jacket. All I wanted was for him to speak and ask me what Jeremiah meant. I wanted him to ask me if what he said was true so he would know that not all of it was. But he didn't speak, he just sat there with his face in his hands and I couldn't help but feel the tears building up in my eyes.

This was all my fault.

I never knew Noah could fight, I always figured that he was too nice to.

But I guess that's when we learn that the nicest people aren't always going to be nice - they just needed to let it go. That's all.

We sat there for ages it seemed, as the Owls did their callings in the distance, and the frog crooked by the lakebed. Then Noah finally looked at me, his eyes were foggy and misty like he was somewhere far off. Somewhere far away from here - from me.

"Was it true?" He asked me. He looked so vulnerable sitting there across from me. In his eyes I saw a hint of belief - that he believed what Jeremiah said. I instantly shook my head No.

"Most of it was false, We never had sex and I can tell you right now that we never came close to it. He's just saying that" I said. Noah seemed a little relieved, but I could still see the question in the back of his mind that he hadn't yet asked.

"So what part was true then?" Noah asked with suspicion in his words. I didn't want to tell him what happened, Noah just calmed down and I didn't want to get him worked up again. But Noah's persistent glares made me cave in, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"At the party I went to.. He was drunk and he may of slapped my butt without permission but it's no big deal!" I said so he wouldn't get worked up, but my efforts didn't work.