His Greenie ~TMR~ Newt x reader

Limp (Part 2)

                                                                                                    Newt's POV

     Why do you have a limp? Her question rang through my head for a long time. I couldn't sleep that night because of it. The next day it was still in my head. The haunting memory would never leave me. It didn't matter what I did for the next couple of days, the thought still wouldn't go away. It was always fresh in my mind. I wish it would just go away.

     All day long people have been asking me if I was okay and if there was anything wrong and all that. To be honest I wasn't quite sure myself, so of course I replied with my usual 'I'm fine'. (Y/N) hasn't asked me too much, I figured she knew why I was acting weird. Or maybe she just knew I needed some time to think. Either way, we haven't spoke since she asked me. Of course we would still sit with each other, smile, hug, and all that. We just didn't talk. I was fine with it I guess, it was a little strange though. It's almost as if I were getting the silent treatment from my own girlfriend, even though I knew that wasn't the case. Or at least I hoped. Then again, the more she stayed away from me the more depressed I seemed to get.

     Currently I was sitting in the deadheads, minding my own business. For some odd reason I love to come here when I need time to myself. It''s like the graves of my peers are calming, how delightful. The more you think about it the crazier it seems. I liked it though, even if it is a little creepy. I sighed and hit my head against a tree lightly. I was sitting down with my legs stretched out, my bad leg being bent a little. I rested my head against the tree my back was against. It was nice, being alone from all the shanks out in the glade. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe, soon releasing it. I was so tired from the lack of sleep that i just passed out right there.

                  ~TIME SKIP~

     I woke to the sound of twigs being snapped. Me, being the light sleeper I am, jumped to the sound. The sounds got closer and I subconsciously pressed myself farther into the tree. I saw a figure move closer to me and I squinted to see who it is.

     "Whoever you are get your bloody ass back to work." I said sternly.

     "First thing you have said to me in about three days, lovely." (Y/N) said as she appeared.

     "Sorry love, I thought it was someone else." I said sheepishly.

     "Ya shank!" She giggled.

     I shook my head and grinned to myself. I raised my head back up soon enough and patted the ground next to me. She came and sat beside me. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin there. She had a distant look, almost as if she were to be depressed. It hurt me, but I pushed the feeling aside. 

     "So what's up with you?" she whispered.

     "I could ask you the same thing." I said.

     "Yeah, well I asked you first. This isn't about me." she shot back.

     "Wow, ouch. Sassy much? Since when were you Minho 2.0?" I asked with sarcasm.

     "I guess I have been hanging out with him a lot." she whispered.

     "Obviously." I muttered.

     "Now answer my question you shank, what's wrong?" she repeated.

     "Nothing. I just like to be alone. It is my favorite thing honestly. Being alone is like the best possible thin-" I rambled.

     "Don't bullshit me damn it. I know there is a problem Newt, I just want to help..." she said, muttering the last part.

     "How can you fix something if it is broken completely?" I asked.

     She gave me a confused look and I flushed. I didn't realize what I said until her facial expression changed. I can't believe I said something like that.

     "What the hell does that mean?" she questioned.

     "U-um... nothing. W-wow what I said sounded really cheesy and depressing huh? Amazing how it can go from okay to awkward with one little saying!" I began to ramble again.

     "Newt I know something is wrong." she stated.

     "How would you know?" I mumbled.

     "Because I know you. Whenever your sad you ignore people questions by asking your own. You won't keep eye contact with anyone because your afraid you will break in front of them. When someone asks if your okay then you ask them back, and never answer. You always come to the deadheads for 'quiet time' and every time you try to say your fine your eyes flicker down and your nose twitches in the cutest way." She explained.

     At this point my jaw had dropped and my eyes were wide. How did she know this much?

     "H-how?" I stuttered.

     "It may be creepy that I know that much. I just pay attention when i'm around people, a lot more then it may seem." she giggled.

     "It's not creepy love. It's... nice knowing that someone actually knows me that much. The fact that you understand me by my actions is the sweetest thing." I replied.

     She smiled at me and hugged me, which of course I returned. I wrapped my arms around her waist and squeezed her close to me. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me close, burying her face in the crook of my neck. She mumbled something, but I couldn't understand what.

     "What?" I asked.

     "Will you please tell me what's wrong now?" she asked and pouted.

     I sighed and scratched the back of my neck. I rubbed my face and made eye contact with her.

     "It's a-about my limp." I began. "I think now is a good time to tell you what happened. Please don't get mad or ask me questions if I tell you though, I couldn't live with myself if you hated me." 

     She nodded and stared into my eyes, waiting for my explanation.

     "So, as you know I am second in command because I came after Alby. Well, in the beginning I hated this place more then anything. I thought that being here was worse then anything. It seemed like it wasn't worth it, you know? So me, being the dumb shank I am, tried to do something about it. I went to one of those walls and climbed up the vines. I decided to jump, thinking it wasn't worth living anymore. My plan didn't work out and here I am today, paying the price for it. So now I have to live with the burden of my limp because of my mistakes." I finished.

     By this point she was in tears. She sat there crying with her head ducked down, refusing to let me see her in this state. Knowing I was the cause of her tears only made it worse. I hugged her closer to me and rubbed her back as she calmed down. She still wouldn't lift her head, even if she wasn't crying. I could still hear her sniffle. I could tell her face was red because her eyes were a bright pink. I lifted her chin and forced her to look at me, even if she didn't like it.

     "Don't cry, that was the old me." I whispered.

     "I like the new you." she whispered with a smile.

     "Me too." I smiled back.

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Note

Okay, so in my opinion this chapter is really shitty, but I wanted to get it done. Sorry if you didn't like it, I would understand. It isn't my best chapter but I wanted to get passed this depressing little part of the story. I might go back and edit if it really is that terrible, but other then that I hope you enjoyed. This book should be over soon. I don't plan to make it too long since I never planned it out in the first place. I hope you liked it!