"Go get the girl Liam, we're both using each other to get over our exes and it's bad to go back into a toxic relationship, but I guess that's our yellow paint. Yellow is a colour of happiness, but yellow paint is poisonous and I guess our ex's are...
I didn't want to wake up. I shouldn't have woken up. I wanted to die, that's all I want. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is pills and drugs. All I do is pills and drugs.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
To be honest I'd rather burn my lungs with cocaine and weed than go to school right now. Everybody falling in love, kissing in the hallways, laughing with half their friends who talk shit about them just to fit in with other people.
When I look back at the last time when I was in counselling Mr Hale always used to tell me I'm loved and I used to just laugh within myself and now I understand why.
I'm too fucking complicated for anyone to love. I do feel scared though, cause fuck I don't wanna end up alone and old.
I really don't know what to wear for school, but it didn't matter because anything I choose to wear Stile's will forever embarrass me in front of everyone because of it.
I mean yeah he's messing around. But his eyes. As if he truly means it. As if he wants me to be humiliated. Like its the only thing that'll bring him joy.
I reply in silence, silence is the most powerful scream and its the only thing I'm good at.
I grabbed my bag from the chair and hastily ran down the stairs knowing I'm late for school.
I was going to tell my mum I love her but she wasn't in the house. Neither was she yesterday. Or the day before.
She's with her new boyfriend, well that's what she calls him. She always says "you know I have to do these things to earn a little cash for us!"
And I can't bare the thought of a different man every week touching her. With no other intention than sex and money.
I shut the door behind me and took my weed pouch and stuffed it into my pocket.
I felt the urge to smoke right now. It started off as fun, and now it's like an addiction to cure my pain.
I made my blunt and pressed upon it through my lips, and breathed in. Inhaling and exhaling the medicine to my worries.
Damn it felt so good. As I was walking to school I was just puffing the negativity away, the depression and the anxiety.
From a distance I saw Theo and Kira laughing whilst they were walking to school. Their always laughing, as if there's no pain in this world to change their smile.
As I approached nearer to the school I stepped on my blunt and puffed the remainder of smoke still trapped in my mouth and entered the building.
