Melancholic Lovers

The Dark Side

Theo's PoV-

I saw him. He had that intense look of torment in his eyes. Those eyes.
They plead for mercy and peace but physically they look like any normal eye. Pale with the tendency to grow into darkness in the night.

"Why would you do this to yourself Scott?"

"You don't under-" he stuttered

"I don't understand? Are you kidding me? So your just gonna die? Your just gonna kill yourself? Your gonna bow down to your demons? Your gonna shelter the beast inside? So when you lie in that coffin then what?

The pain never goes ago away. Because even when your laying dead in your coffin, you awaken the beast, and your problems that you've been running from hurl back again. And you will never rest. Because even in death. Your soul will never be free from what your running from. Your such a misunderstood truth.  There's so much beauty in life, so many places your spirit yearns to visit. But your limiting yourself, how can you be a somebody in a nobody town? Suicide? Is that what it's come to...?"

Scotts pov-

His body language. So shattered. So tired. His eyes were as furious as a thunderstorm and his fingertips were burnt. His resembles a mixture of anger, sadness and intense tiredness.

His pursed pink lips were motionless and his dark circles looked worse than ever.

I whispered, "why am I doing this to myself "

I released the gun into his hands as he requested and a tear trickled from my eyes from the realization that I could've been a lifeless corpse 5 minutes ago, and I stared at my reflection in it with grief and resentment.

"Thank you" he whispered.

---

" It all went so blurry afterwards,  he slowly grabbed the gun from my hands and walked slightly away from me, so I was not in his reach. His fingers shivered severely, more than mine. He wasn't drunk, completely sane. But he was overwhelmed. He was tormented with guilt and hopelessness.

He started crying, but his pride took over his heart. He wiped it away from his eyes. And I stood confused. I couldn't gather what was going on. I wish I realized earlier. I could've stopped it- I was just too late"

"It's okay Scott, carry on" the Sherrif Holmes proclaimed, holding onto my hands tightly.

" he sniffed, and aimed the gun. At first I thought blood was going to be shed. I thought the hate he had for me appeared. I thought I was going to die. And at first I did want to. But for the first time, you'd think a suicidal man would stay put and emotionless but fear overcame me. I thought I was going to die. And that made me realize, I wanted to live, at least for another day.

But aside from that, he grabbed a felt tip permanent pen and a posted note and his hands shook vigorously as he wrote on the note and stuck it onto the gun. After he wrote he lashed the pen on the floor and aimed the gun to his heart.

I ran Sherrif. I sprinted towards him to knock the gun out of his hand. But, I was too late. Everything went downhill from there. The lights. The beading sweat all over my body. My heart racing drastically. Before I got to him my body froze in shock after I heard the blast. He dropped to the floor and blood gushed from his heart and his eyes slowly began to shut down.

How did I not know he was breaking inside?

I grabbed onto him and shook him violently. I had another mans blood on my shirt. My eyes were swollen with tears and as I wiped them I picked up the gun and read the writing he wrote on it,

'Only my mother can love me for me'

I sank to floor as I felt my heart shattering in pieces. Why didn't God take me instead?"

"He found life from the streets, he lived in the dark times. He looked at his mother as a religion, but he lost his faith after she passed away. Life wouldn't be so smooth if you had to live in a care home, with no one to look forward to.

Especially when he's 17, maybe the thought of him getting removed from the home at 18 wasn't something he could accept. Being homeless isn't desirable. And the pain. Not everyone can handle pain."

I pondered after Sheriff Holmes said these words, although I didn't mind them as much,  I  just sat and remembered approximately a month ago he mentioned something in class,

"I don't know Sir, I mean your not a bad person, for the ways you tried to kill your sadness. "

And if only I fucking knew what that meant.

He would've been alive.