Melancholic Lovers

We Should All Burn Together

Funeral.

"Theo was my best friend. We grew up together, I remember one time I broke my leg when rolled down the hill chasing him. Our parents were so worried but we shared grins across the hospital bed. As we grew up our love grew stronger, I've never been apart from him. Until now. I wish I could see his smiles at brakfast, or hear the laughs you made. It's been a 4 months since you died, and some days I feel everything at once, and other days I feel nothing at all, as if my soul it's emotionless, I don't know what's worse. Drowning beneath the waves of depression or dying from voice notes you'd send. You always used to say 'the worst goodbyes are the ones never said.' Which is ironic as you never said goodbye. You told me not to blame myself, but I can't do that. I could've done better, loved you more. Because the time I woke up, you never did'

"Thank you Kira"

Everyone volunteered to speak, but when the time came tears overflowed. He didn't want to expeirence the pain of death. We made a pact that neither of us will die until we were the same age. But somehow, the pain of living see,ed worse to him.

I placed flowers on his grave and sat next to it, whispering, "out of all the people who could've ripped me to shreds, why on earth did it have to be you Theo?"
Tears ran down my eyes, and I was too lifeless and weak to brush them away.

"I'm sorry for your loss"

I didn't even turn. That voice made me move mountains. That voice made me feel the urge to scream on top of my lungs with joy. That voice convinced me to lay on top of cars. That voice-

"I know your going through a tough time. And words can't explain how much pain your feeling. I'm not going to tell you time heals or it'll get better. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm gonna tell you that, your going to lay on the floor, possibly fighting the urge to clutch onto that razor blade and slit your body to a strawberry red. Your going to neglect food, because halfway through your meal his name will be rush through your mind. Your going to be overwhelmed with a torrent of tears. Your gonna change the perspective of life, it's not going to be roses, or sweet smells, or reading or being with the people you cherish. It's going to be dark, expressionless and cold. But whilst your in the tunnel, hear my voice, let it be your anchor. To drag you out. Although you will not be entirely saved, but you will start to find a meaning of life. It may be a smile from a stranger, or a cute dog on the sidewalk. It could be an equation you finally understand. Or a new quote you devote your time reading. But I swear to you. In the end, you will learn to deal with the the pain."

I wanted to thank him, but by the time I turned, he was lost on the rhythm off the winds.