"Go get the girl Liam, we're both using each other to get over our exes and it's bad to go back into a toxic relationship, but I guess that's our yellow paint. Yellow is a colour of happiness, but yellow paint is poisonous and I guess our ex's are...
He looked tense, like he was confused whether to lay me down in a museum and fuck me or throw me down into train tracks.
After everything, all I could do was be silent.
"I'm sorry Isaac. I really am so-"
"Just stop." I could feel the pain in his voice, as if he was tired. I didn't blame him but I was still a little hurt.
"I love you"
There was a mist of tension and silence between us, I tilted my head to stare at his lips. He told me he loves me and here I am, being silent.
"It's shit but I love you. Ever since I met you all you've used me is for your own sexual gratification, and everyone told me to stay away from you. And I did. And just when I start to get over how shit you were to me , you pop up out of fucking no where. And I fall over again. It's only you who knows every inch of my body. And I'm tired of fighting. So I love you and I don't care if you don't, but I'm tired of fighting"
He took a deep breath and put his backpack on again.
Come Jesse do something. Do something you fuck up.
I ran up behind him and clutched tightly his hand tightly and whispered
'I was happy killing myself , and then you told me to try , and I'm fucking trying. So please try with me. I'll do anything."
I felt his hands loosening from my grip as he faced the door, and opened it.
"I- I love you Isaac. Please. I want you. Be my boyfriend, I promise Ill try"
He turned back , trying to hold his tears and said " I can't be with someone like you Jesse. Your toxic. You've always been toxic."
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He gently closed the door, and all I could feel was the harsh wing creeping into my skin.
