THE ONE

25. KISSES

I need to make sure Jacyln remembers this night forever. I know I will because every day with her is like that. And god, when we kissed I felt another 60 years of my life.

As her hair kept blowing in the wind, I grabbed her hand again. The wind was pretty cold, even for me so it wasn't surprising founding out her hands turned cold. "Oh, you're cold. Let's get you in the car quickly. I have a few extra blankets in it." She smiled, but her mouth remained silent. I feel a tight squeeze as her hand lays in mine. I put down the car seats so we could lay down, hopefully cuddling. She wants to put on some music, so she pulls out her rock CD. As my face forms a confused look, she smiles. I find that smile quite naughty, because she even says: "You never know." She scoots closer to me, wrapped in a blanket I put around her.

It's quite weird for me actually, bringing a girl in the car just to warm her up. I mostly used the car excuse just to get girls laid. But it's true that no other girl gave me that kind of feeling for about two years. I mean, I will probably never forget Lorelay. She gave me too much to remember. But at the same time, not enough. That's why I don't want to screw things up with Jaclyn.

It feels like I know her. From another time, maybe even some other existence. I do not know how to explain it, but it feels like we were meant to be together. My demons shut up while she's with me. She makes me feel crazy, but she also calms my heart and the same time. She makes me feel such powerful things it's hard for me to not just grab her head and kiss her cheery coloured lips. It doesn't really matter, because it's the beginning of something beautiful.

I look at her and a smile creeps on her face. "Why are you looking at me like that?", she asks. But it's hard for me to explain my feelings. How can I explain the feeling of infinity, holding her hand? How could I fall in love so quickly? I guess it's not really that hard as her head leans closer to mine. "Nothing. You're just absolutely stunning." She gives me a kiss and I pull her face closer. I can never get close enough to her. Not even as she separates her lips from mine, leaving the taste of her entire being on my lips and buries her head into my neck. She goes for a little kiss there as well. "I really like your neck.", she whispers and the warm breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine. Who doesn't like neck kisses? I squeeze her body closer to my chest and automatically say: "And I really like you."

Did I really just say that out loud? God, help me dig a grave for me real quick. This was not meant to happen. It's too soon. She just broke up with her boyfriend like 15 minutes ago. What am I doing? Jason, get a grip.

"How can you like me when I don't even like myself?"

It's too late to go back now. Just make a fool of yourself. It can't get worse than this.

"I simply do. You're an extraordinary human being and I love the feeling you give me when you look at me. You were treated badly, brutally even. That's why I'm here. To fix you. To see that gorgeous face being brighten up with your true smile once again. You know the one; the one that makes your eyes crinkle as you form a wide smile, made just for me. I'm here to kiss the scars that remained as you were battling in the war against yourself. And if I can't do that as your boyfriend, I will do that as your friend."

She wanted to cover up the tears, using her hands. "Let me get that for you.", I say before I wipe them off.

"I'm sorry, Jason. I can't return the feelings you have for me just yet. You're sweet but I'm too broken to be loved. You'll get bored too quickly. I don't deserve your love."

"But you already have it."

I lean in for a kiss real quick so she can't back down. I wanted her tears to fade and her lips to form a smile. But most of all, I wanted her to like me back. My heart can't give up on her now. When the kiss is over, she looks at me, her cheeks turning red. I was kissed again and her tongue yet again started playing with mine.

I don't know how many songs have passed by. But I do know if that's how friend-zone feels like, I don't want this moment to pass me by. If it means being kissed by her cheery lips over and over again, I don't mind being stuck in the friend-zone forever.