Just What I Am.

{24}

Hannah's POV:

"Ahhhh!" I screamed, as the water from Rakim's jump splashed everywhere around me.

I started to swim away, but he caught me. He pushed me up against the wall, to the side of the pool. I wrapped my legs around him. We were right between the shallow end and the deep end. Rakim was the only one that could reach his feet to the bottom of the pool. The feeling of his bottom lip running against my collarbone drove me insane.

I need something to get my mind off of Alex. Rakim's the one person that can distract me from everything thats happening around me. Everything about him is hypnotizing.

"We can't fuck here..." He said, almost laughing in my ear.

"Who said?"

"You're fucking crazy." He whispered lifting me up from the water a little, before bringing me back down.

"Yea.. What's new?"

I reached under the water, and grabbed onto the waist band on his underwear.

"Hannah."

"Rakim."

We just starred into each others eyes for a second. He reached down into the water and pulled my hands away from his waist band. What the fuck? Where the hell is that little horny Rakim, who never let's go of my body? Some how I got out of his hold. I swam over to the wall separating the pool from the hot tub. He watched me, smiling, as I slide over the wall slowly, and slipped into the hot tub. It wasn't long before he joined me.

I really like this. I feel like a kid again. Rakim is my toy, it's playtime, and that sounds really fucked up. But I would do anything for him, and he'd do anything for me. Don't even think that. It's not love. This isn't love. He doesn't love me. He loves the fact that I'm the best drug dealer around. He needs me to bring his business back up, and I need him to cure my loneliness. There's no one left for me. Rakim is almost like my medicine. He makes me feel like I'm actually worth something. I'm sure he made all the other bitches feel the same too.

I don't trust Kiaura either. Trust isn't real in my life. All the people I've trusted the most have fucked me over. Kiaura's just a ticking bomb. Bitches don't like me, and that's just it.

I climbed on top of him. I could kiss him all night, if he'd let me. Everything was going fine. We were kissing and moving our hands everywhere, they could go possibly. But then Rakim moaned something into the bridge of my neck that wasn't clear enough for me to understand the first time.

"What baby?"

He continued to suck at the skin. Then eventually moaned it again. I still couldn't hear him. He pulled his boxers off and grabbed onto me.

"You ready?"

"Yea."

He lifted me up for a second, to get himself situated. Then rested me back on top of him.

As usual it was amazing. Hopefully no one tried to come down and swim, cause we were kinda um fucking. Neither of us would've noticed anybody coming, anyways.

"Rakimm!" I said pulling him out of me, and moving to the side.

"Yeah?" He answered, breathing heavily.

"What did you say to me earlier?"

He made a hesitated face then looked towards the other direction. Why won't he look me in the eyes?

"Um..."

"Rakim."

"Nothing. I don't remember."

"Ok." I said, while getting back on top of him.

His head rolled back. He began to whine like a baby. I don't think anybody will understand how great it is to make such a serious person almost beg for you to pleasure them.

"I looo- you bae."

I stopped. What the hell did he just say? This is Rakim Mayers... He doesn't love any bitch. No he didn't mean it.

I didn't know what else to do, but flee. What I've always done. It's kinda my thing.

"Umm... I'm tired. Imma go take a shower." I said jumping out of the hot tub, grabbing a towels from one of the tables by the pool.

"That's it? We're done?" He said stepping out of the water, revealing his nude body.

"For now.. I'm tired baby."

He nodded. We both wrapped ourselves with towels and traveled back to the hotel sweet.

God I can't handle this right now. I'm running away just like I always do.

Rakim's POV:

I'm such a fucking idiot. Why did I say that? I don't love her..... I mean I..

I walked into the bathroom, and found Hannah sitting on the shower floor with the water pouring on her head, crying.

There was no need to say anything. I bent down, and sat outside of the shower next to her. Just holding her hand made her cry a little less.

"Rakim... What's wrong with me?" Her voice cracked, and she squeezed my hand tighter.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." I tried to stay calm, but I hate seeing her like this. Something had to happen. She sat there and shook her head to what I said.

"No, no I'm so fucked up." She looked at me shaking. Her eyes are red, and it's not from the drugs this time.

"What happened?" I asked, and she placed her head between her knees.

"Al--ex" she finally stuttered.

Mother fucker.