Better Than A Badge (LeviXEren)

Promises?

*WARNING, may be triggering for some readers*

Levi's POV

I walked out of Eren's room quickly, I didn't want to see all the happy smiling faces of the characters on his posters today. Especially not today. My brother's birthday or death day depending on how you look at it. Few people know that I had a brother called Connie and I'm not about to yell it at the world. He would be 14 today. He was too young. Sometimes I don't know whether to hate motorcyclists or to love them. On the one hand they killed my brother and that is worthy of hatred isn't it? On the other hand, it is what he wanted. I wouldn't have wanted him to have grown up unhappy. My parents and the hospital dressed it up, called it the Miracle Effect. They said that he had believed for too long that he couldn't die, but they didn't know the truth. They hadn't heard the sobs and the wailing at night. I should stop, if I carry on I will cry, and I don't want to cry. So instead I headed to the bathroom. To stop the pain. I had done it last year too but this year it was worse. I walked in, not bothering to switch on a light and alert unwanted attention. Plus it seemed for respectful with the room in gloom. I fumbled through the cabinets, searching for a razor. There must be one right?

A few minutes later I had found one. I stopped suddenly. Would Connie want this? No. So why do I want to do it? Because it is respectful and I want to escape my thoughts. I didn't want to have to ask myself questions, I just wanted the throbbing in my chest to be less. I slowly brought the razor down near my shoulder, where it would be less prominent. I closed my eyes and-
"No Levi, don't!" I hear a gentle but panicked voice cut through the silence. Tch, the brat ruining it per usual. Guilt flickered through me like a wildfire. I looked up at his face, stress and anxiety zooming across it. No Levi. Stop blaming everyone else. He grabbed me by the wrist and tugged me downstairs to his mother, who was oblivious to the situation. I was bundled into the car.

Throughout the journey his eyes kept dancing to my arm, checking for scars. There wouldn't be any, he was looking in the wrong place. I frowned when he lifted it up against the window. I didn't want him to notice my shoulder. He didn't. When we arrived he said and absent minded goodbye to his mother and bustled my into the bathroom before the meeting begun.
"Levi, what were you doing?" His panicked voice said, seeping out into the tension of the room. I paused, thinking what to say.
"I-I had to find and escape." I managed to choke out, not wanting to cry in front of him. He sighed.
"Just promise me you won't do it again." I hesitated, crossed my fingers behind my back and nodded. Relief seemed to sweep over him, which only filled me with more self hatred. What was I doing to this brat? Why did I feel so light headed around him? Why? I didn't hear the meeting, my heart wasn't in it. Instead I found my thoughts drawn to Eren. What was it about him? Every time he touched me I felt this spark. Every time he addressed me I felt a connection. It slowly dawned on me. Did i love him? Love? The thought was impossible, yet now that it was lodged in my brain it wasn't budging. I tapped him on the shoulder and gestured towards the toilets. I needed to do this. I followed him through the archway.
"What Levi? I was about to get my Duke Of Edinburgh Award," he complained, "Plus you we-" I cut him off my smashing my lips onto his, hoping this was right. He kisses me back. We broke apart and smiled sheepishly. Yes. This was the right thing to do.

A/N hi hi, sorry about the total lack of communication but I had writer's block so please don't hate me. Tysm for 60 reads it means a lot, even if it doesn't seem like much. I will try to update more over the weekend but we'll see. bai bai.