Evil Heart Trusts

Chapter 10

 "Ya like your house?" Aidan asked. "Of course! It's better than anything I've ever had!!" I said excitedly. I realized what I said and cupped my hands over my mouth, wide eyes. Aidan made a concerned look. "It's just a hut, I'm.. oh." he realized what I just released about my past. "You sure you ok?" he asked, very concerned, stepping closer to me. "Ya, I'm ok!!" I tried to sound reassuring. "Right, well, what ya wanna do now?" he asked, trying to sound more upbeat for me. I thought for a while. "Shopping?" I asked. He laughed. "Sure, whatever!" he said. We exited my new..

Home..

 A place to not just live in. A place to love to live in. A place that's always on your mind, and in your heart. Home?

 Yes, this is my home..

 We exited my new home and started walking to the shopping part of town. I realized Aidan was wearing dark jean shorts, and a red shirt. Red.

 Red. The color of bravery. He's brave. What else does your bravery create in your heart? Does it create joy? What's it like to be brave? My color, navy blue, stands for confidence. I've never seen myself as confident. Do people think I'm confident? What do I even know about myself? All I know is that I've repressed my feelings too much. That's not confidence.. That's cowardice..

 I began crying. Aidan looked down to see my red face. Tears streaming down my hot cheeks. Aidan's face immediately created a most worried expression. "Ellen, what kind of life have you lived?" Aidan said out of pure worry and care. I held in my sobs, I can't live like that again. I can't go back to being some depressed, haunted girl of the underworld. I struggled to breathe as I held in my cries for help. "Ellen, let it out.." he said calmly. We walked back into my house. We sat on my bed. I didn't want to make him worry anymore. He was sucking my energy, triggering my empathy like that. "Ellen, let it out! It's unhealthy to keep it in like that!" he said seriously.

.. Unhealthy?

 "Wh-Wha-What?" I stammered, struggling so hard just to let that one word out. "It's unhealthy to keep your feelings in like that! You'll just repress your feelings, then, you won't even feel anymore!! You'll BURST at some point!!" he yelled. "How do you know that.." I demanded to know. HIs eyes widened. He stayed silent. "What kind of live have you lived, Aidan?" I asked him. Wiping my final tears.

 "Answer me first." he demanded. "It'll be easier if you answer me first." I said. "No, it won't." he said. "You have no idea.." I whispered to myself. "Actually, I have an idea." he said. "What?" I said out of confusion. "How do you react when.." he said with a smirk? How do I react when what? What is he going to do? Knowing me, I won't react well. I'm used to pain, I just let it.. happen..

 He raised his fist in the air to strike me. I kept quiet and pulled my arms up in front of my face. I closed my eyes, ready. I waited. Nothing hit me. No harsh skin hurt my body. I opened one eye, to see his arm lowered, and a worried expression on his face. I lowered my arms and fully opened my eyes. A scared expression crept on my burning face.

Who is he?

What is he?

What purpose does he serve in my life?

If everything has a reason, what's his reason?

He covered all the windows with the curtains. No one could look into my home. Aidan suddenly wrapped his arms around me tightly. My face burned. I felt his muscular arms hug me. I felt it was very awkward.. but it was the first sign of love I felt in years.. I gave in to his arms, and let his body warmth warm up my freezing, broken heart. I closed my eyes. I heard a noise. It was more like a flutter. A flutter? I didn't feel "butterflies in my stomach". I opened my eyes. What I saw was grand, pure white wings on Aidan's back. I gasped.

He's an angel.

He's a good angel.

 I crawled out of his arms desperately. Nonono, good angels and bad angels don't mix well! My wings are black, and his are white! I'm from the Dead End, he's from a much better place that rids the world of evil! He wants to rid me! But..

 That would mean I'm Evil..

 Is being evil better than the life I've lived? Of course it is.. All I've known is evil.. Maybe, I could just..

 When I'm ready.

 I got up and ran from Aidan in my home. "No, Ellen! I won't hurt you!" he said desperately. I panted loudly, struggling to slow my breath. My pulse was increasing rapidly, too rapidly. Aidan ran into the bathroom, where I was hiding. I winced, bracing myself for never ending pain. He picked me up and pulled me up by grabbing my weak arm. He held on tightly as I stood up. "No, let me go!!" I begged. "Don't hurt me!!" I pleaded, as I struggled to get out of his tightening, painful grip. "I won't hurt you, I promise!" he yelled. I continued to struggle to get out his arms. I can't trust anyone. Trust doesn't exist. Trust can't exist. I've never felt trust before. Trust doesn't exist.

 I finally decided to just stop wasting my energy. I sighed and stood still, lowering my head, so I couldn't see his eyes. "Ellen.." he said so caringly. "Just because you're meant for bad, doesn't mean you're evil. You have a chance. You have a choice."

 "You have a choice." he said.

 A choice? A choice to be good? Even though I live in evil? All I know is pain and hurt. Good? What does that feel like?

 I looked into his eyes. I stared right into his eyes. He stared right into my eyes. I suddenly felt.. different. Something new. Something I've never felt before. I felt warm, as if my heart wasn't broken. I felt new, as if I never lived pain. What is this? Is this that word I don't understand? Love? Isn't love just a.. word..? Is it just a word? Or can a single, plain word mean the world to some people? What is love?

 Aidan smiled. His white wings disappeared off his back in a white cloud, that disappeared into the air. I.. smiled. "That's more like it. I like it when you smile." he said. I smiled wider. This wasn't an ordinary smile that you plaster on when you see someone you know in the store. This was a smile I never felt before. Every smile I ever made before felt.. unreal. Plastered on. A lie. Even when I was given a new home, that smile felt unreal. This smile was much more different.

 This was a real smile.

 What is Aidan doing to my evil, cruel, broken, unloved, betrayed, hurt, depressed, repressed heart?

 "Now, about the shopping?" Aidan brought up again. "Oh right!" I said excitedly. We exited my home to go shopping.