Don't let me drown

Sixteen

"Good morning." Ashton said smiling whilst grinding to a halt next to Sienna's bike.
"Hi." She said. She was tired because she hadn't slept that much this night. She fell asleep at two o'clock because all these thoughts about Pippa and Ashton were moving and flying through her head. How could she think that Ashton would love her back? He liked her but clearly didn't love her like she did.
"You're alright?" He asked.
"Yeah." She said and bit her lip. "Shall we go?" She already started cycling and Ashton quickly followed her.
"Sure?" He looked confused.
"Yeah."
After a minute or three, Ashton broke the silence.
"So I heard you met Pippa last night?"
Sienna nodded her head.
"Yeah."
"So.. What did you think about her?"
Sienna turned her head and looked at Ashton's face. He looked so happy when he said Pippa's name.
"She's.. Nice.. And kind.. I guess."
"I know right..? And she's so sweet, she kinda reads my mind and is there for me at every concert. Love it. I love drumming and I love her."
Sienna smiled a sad smile.
"I'm happy for her that she has.. You." She said.
"Thank you," Ashton said smiling.
The rest of the trip was quiet.

At school, Sienna only said a short "bye" to Ashton and quickly went to her classroom.
How could she now be so happy with Ashton when she knew he never would love her the way she loved him? She had tried to ignore it - she had never been in love before, because she was thinking about herself and being bullied all the time. And now, when she found a friend, she fell in love with him.. Why was life so damn hard? She had to admit it that every time she saw him, a smile appeared on her face and every time he texted her, her hearts made one extra beat. Usually, the texts were about nothing - Ashton's bus was too late or he was off one hour earlier so he was at the music room.
But these butterflies made her happy. She showed herself how it was to be happy. And now it all was broke.
She couldn't blame anyone. Of course Ashton had a girlfriend and people liked him! His cute face, adorable smile and dancing curls made every girls heart melt, especially Sienna's. Who wouldn't dream about a boy who is 18 years old, smart, giggly, funny, has lovely curls and beautiful eyes..

That afternoon, Sienna went home without Ashton. She sent him a short text with the words "I've already went home." She felt sorry for being so grumpy to him but she felt like as if she didn't have a choice.
The forest was quiet as she rushed through it. There were no other people like usual - and Car, Catja, Ian and Rob weren't there either.
When she arrived at home, her parents were gone as well. She hated the silence but didn't know how to break it. She walked to the refrigerator and took a look of there was something she could eat. But the bad thoughts came up fast.
She was too fat. She looked like pig. Ashton was only being nice, but of course he didn't mean it. She shut the door and went upstairs to her bedroom. She opened her bag and took the block note out of it.
Clicking a pen.
Ready.
She wrote with curled letters, just like Ashton's hair. She hád to stop thinking about him. But it was so hard! It was so hard..

Ever since the day we met
I couldn't get you out of my head
There was always something about you
Every chance that I seemed to get
Finds a way to end in regret
There was always something about you

Jealousy keeps containing me
In time you'll see
Just what we could be

Sienna sighed. It sounded like as if would be better. But it would be the other way around. They would separate. She kind of felt it. Knew it.

But I'm always too late
I'm always too late
I see you but always hesitate
Because I'm always too late
Don't want to be too late
To have you by my side and I can't wait
Because never.. Is too late

She drew a heart in the corner of the paper and closed her eyes for a moment. Her heart belonged to him. And his didn't belong to her. She knew it.
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#beepbeep# #beepbeep#
Sienna stopped walking through the corridors of the school and took her old fashioned phone out of her pocket.
She had a new message.
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From: Ashton <3
Sent: Friday 2/12-2016 || 14:32
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Hey Sienna.
Can we meet at the pond at 16:05? Gotta tell you something..
:) X Ash
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Sienna wondered what this was about. She thought that the method of don't seeing each other anymore would help - but she didn't dare to say that she wanted to cycle alone. It wasn't the truth either. Deep inside, she still loved him so damn much. It was just.. Hard to see him smile to her every morning when he came cycling towards her. His giggle and dimples and dancing curls.. She wasn't able to resist these things.
She couldn't resist him.

*hello hello :)
Story is nearly done! What do you think will happen? ;)

Xx The5SOSStoryMaker