Don't let me drown

Nineteen

What Sienna didn't know, was that Pippa suddenly broke up with Ashton. She didn't want Ashton to go - or take her with him. She wanted to become a model and therefore she planned going to New York.
"You're not thinking I'll join you, do you? Have you gotten insane?" She once yelled at him.
So they broke up and Ashton had no girlfriend anymore.

The next day, Sienna wasn't at the meeting point where Ashton and she always met.
He went to her house, but her parents weren't at home - they were working and had no clue what had happened to their daughter.
So he called the school and asked if she was there - but they had no clue, probably she wasn't there.
And he went searching, feeling guilty.
And he found her bicycle. And jacket. And bag. And block note.
But he never found her.

Never.

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"So guys.. You know when Sienna tried to kill herself a few weeks ago? I had only seen her once at school. But still, I was here at this place. At the right minute. And.. I found the same things as I did three days ago.
Her bike. Her jacket. Her backpack and her block note with a stone on it.
And just before I.. Kind of.. Rescued her, I found this little poem of hers. And we made a song out of it. Because she once told me that becoming a songwriter was her dream.
It's uh.. Called.. Drown.
Just like she did three days ago."

The three other boys started playing slowly and Ashton looked around, there were about 50 people standing around them and the pond. Hundreds of candles were lightening up the sky and the pond. Sienna's bike and jacket laid in the middle of the circle, next to Ashton's.

"What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead." Ashton started.
"Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper.
And I can't take one more moment of this silence.
The loneliness is haunting me.
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.
Hold my breath and let it bury me.
I'm not okay, and it's not alright.
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead.
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper.
And I can't take one more moment of this silence.
The loneliness is haunting me.
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.
Hold my breath and let it bury me.
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
('Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown."
After the song was over, Ashton thanked everyone for coming and then walked to the side of the pond where Sienna's footprints still were visible in the sand.
He placed his feet in hers and it was like a million butterflies woke up in his stomach.
A lonely tear rolled down his face.
He loved her too. And would always love her.
"You know Sienna.." He whispered.
"You said it's my choice. And it is. And this was yours. And before you go, I just wanted to let you know that my whole heart belongs to yours. Forever."

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