Don't let me drown

Seventeen

"Hey."
"Hey."
Sienna already sat when Ashton came cycling towards her. He dropped his bike at the track and sat down next to her. He folded his arms around his knees.
"You're ok?" He asked with a calm voice.
"Yeah."
They both stared to the other side of the track for a minute.
"So.. What did you want to say?" Sienna started. This silence was awkward.
"Well.. Owh damn this is fucking hard."
Ashton sighed. "You know who Louis Tomlison is, right?"
Sienna put a "what do you mean" look up and looked at Ashton.
"Sure, one of the dudes from one direction."
"Well... Last night we got this tweet." Ashton said and he showed his phone screen. It showed a pic - a screenshot - of a tweet.
Sienna took his phone and looked at the screen. "Been fan for a while, everyone get behind them." She looked down and saw the song Gotta Get Out by the boys. "Hey, that's you!" She said.
Ashton started to giggle.
"Yes, that's right." He smiled. "But.. This is the hard bit.." He said and immediately he got a serious look at his face. "Uhm.. I don't really know how to bring this, so I'll just say it the way it is." Sienna's eyes grew bigger, even though Ashton hadn't said anything yet.
"Uhm.. They asked us if.. We wanted to join. Okay wait, I'll just start at the beginning. The band asked us if we would join them as the first program. So before they come on stage, you have this program by someone else right? Well, we'll be theirs for a year.." Sienna remained silent.
"And we said yes."
"When.. When are you..."
"Leaving?"
Sienna nodded her head and looked at Ashton with an innocent look. "We're leaving after I've done my exams. So somewhere before Christmas."
Sienna let her upper body fall in the grass and breathed deeply. "Sienna.. I.. Just told you because I wanted you to know the truth."
"Who are coming with you?" She asked, refusing to look into Ashton's eyes.
"Luke, Luke's mom Liz, Calum, Pippa and Michael." Pippa's name was said quickly, but Sienna clearly heard it what caused her to get even more heartbroken. "Listen Sienna, I don't want to hurt you. Really. And we can stay friends, of course we can. And-"
"No, it's alright," Sienna said with tears rolling down her face. She sat up, gave Ashton a quick hug, whispered "have fun" and grabbed her bike. Before Ashton knew it, she was gone.

The next day, Sienna cycled alone to school. It was Tuesday anyways, so Ashton's and hers hours weren't the same anyway.
At school, Sienna wrote a little poem in the break.

Within a minute I was all packed up
You've got a ticket to another world
I don't want to go
I don't want to go
The silent words are hard to speak
When my thoughts are all I see
"I'll never leave," he said to me

When we both fall asleep under the same sky
To the beat of our hearts at the same time
So close but so far away
Can you hear me?

I sleep alone
My heart wants to come home
I wish I was, I wish I was beside you
I lie awake
I'm trying to find the words to say
I wish I was, I wish I was beside you

Beside you

Sienna didn't want to show the others in the canteen her tears. Her last tears. Her tears with a meaning. Her tears with love.
"Oh look who's sitting there on her own!" Rob laughed.
Sienna put her shoulders up and bowed over the canteen table.
"Go away." She whispered.
"Owh look Rob, she's even talking." Ian said.
"I see, I see I see I see..." Car laughed evily and she turned Sienna's shoulders around. "What do you have?" She said with a tilted face. "Do you write something?"
"Uhm, no." Sienna said.
"Owh, yes you have." Catja laughed and she robbed the block note from Sienna's hands. This caused Sienna to unfreeze immediately. She didn't have that many values in her life - but her songs and poems were one of them.
"Give it back!" Sienna yelled. Her face was dark and angry, something the bullies didn't recognise.
"Look Ian, little piggy is growing up. Becoming a little cocky brat." Rob said.
"Give it back, now." Sienna hissed.
When Catja didn't give the little book back, Sienna jumped on her - something Catja really hadn't expected so she fell - and grasped her little block note back.
"Get off me, pig!" Catja yelled what caused all the people in the canteen to look at Sienna and the other four bullies. "Now! Guys, help me!"
The two guys dragged Sienna off Catja. Car pushed her to the table.
"What were you thinking?" She hissed. She held a little nail file in her hands. "Girls who don't listen, will get hurt." The two boys grabbed Sienna's left arm as if it was a bad dream, Catja pushed the file inside Sienna's skin. She dragged the file down which caused Sienna want to shriek.
"No sound is leaving your fucking mouth, hear me?" Car hissed and gave Sienna a disgusted look. "Pig."
Sienna closed her eyes and tears rolled down her face. The file hurt so damn much!
Because everybody minded their own business, no one except the bullies saw what happened to Sienna.
After Catja was done, she pushed the file deeper into Sienna's flesh in her arm.
"That's what pigs deserve. They get slaughtered. And this was just a little bit. It will get worse, piggy, way worse.." Catja whispered.
Then, the bullies turned around and walked away, laughing.

Sienna ran to the toilet, still holding her block note and bag in one hand. Her other hand and arm was totally covered in blood - this caused people to give her and her arm shocked looks.
Inside the toilet, people immediately made room for her and even left the toilet.
"You see.." She whispered to the mirror. "No one wants to be with this fat pig.."
She closed her eyes and pulled the nail file out of her arm. "Auwhauwhauwhauch." She whispered as she opened her eyes and saw the bloody file and her red arm. She cleaned her arm in the sink - which caused it to turn all red and her arm hurting as hell. Not only her arm hurt - every piece of her hurt. A lot.