Begin Again

Chapter 15

‘It’s funny you’re the broken one

yet I’m the only one who needed saving.’ 

                                                         Stay- Rihanna

-

"Thanks for lunch. I had a great time." I spoke as we stood outside my apartment. The walk back along the beach had been great. Conversation had flowed and I had managed to keep Jarrod out of my head for the most part.

"Me too." Zayn agreed running his fingers through his hair. When he caught me staring he smirked remembering my earlier comment. "I'll catch you later short stuff."

He leant down and placed a kiss on my cheek before walking away down the stairs. I know I should have been pleased he didn't push things but part of me was disappointed he hadn't tried to kiss me.

As I rummaged through my bag for my keys my phone chimed. I pulled it out smiling when I saw the message was from Zayn.

From Zayn ;) - Just so you know I really want to kiss you ;) but no more steps backwards xx

My heart rate increased as I read his text again. So he did want to kiss me? Wow. Just then the door swung open and Ali yelled. "I hope you two aren't kissing out here."

When she saw me stood there alone she started to laugh. "Sorry its just you were out here a while and I didn't want any funny business."

"Well don't worry there was none of that, yet." I smiled still thinking about the text.

"Yet? Oh my god tell me everything." She squealed pulling me inside.

"Where's Elle?' I asked as we sat down on a couch in the living room.

"At the beach." Ali replied impatiently. "Never mind Elle, I want to hear about your date with gorgeousness that is Zayn."

I proceeded to tell Ali all about my date leaving out the secret he had told me and Jarrod's interruptions. When I finished Ali was watching me carefully. 

"What?" I quizzed unnerved by her searching gaze.

"What did he do?" She demanded.

"What did who do?" Now I was really confused.

"Zayn." Ali stated.

"Who says he did anything?" I defended to which Ali raised an eyebrow.

"Because I know you and I can hear in your voice that something happened." Ali sighed continuing to scrutinise me. "If he pushed things with you too far I will kill him."

"Zayn didn't do anything." I snapped becoming agitated.

"Well something happened." Ali retorted disbelievingly.

"It was Jarrod ok." I shouted finally snapping under Ali's interrogation.

"Jarrod?" Ali puzzled. "But he's not here."

"I know but he's in here." I pointed to my head tears threatening to spill.

"Oh Ash. Why didn't you tell me?" Ali whispered pulling me into her arms.

"I was hoping it would go away but it hasn't." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I let out what I had been holding back. "Every time I feel ok again he's there in my head putting me down. I really like Zayn but I don't think I can be with him. As if I'm not messed up enough already now I hear frickin voices in my head."

"You're not messed up at all." Ali insisted rubbing my back.

"I hear my ex boyfriend's voice in my head how is that not messed up?" I sobbed.