you told me i was beautiful
and the first thing i said
was no.
im sorry.
because i know youre desperate
to get me to see what you see—
because to you im perfect—
but maybe im desperate to
get you to see what i see.
i know its sad
and maybe even a little
pathetic how i let
myself drown in
insecurities and self
depreciation, but
i cant help but to want
to sink to the bottom of
this pool.
im sorry that my automatic
response seems to be no,
but hearing you say those things
only make me cringe and
wish you'd just stop.
because to me, im not
perfect. im not gorgeous
and im not beautiful.
to me, my hair is too
messy, my laugh is too loud,
my body isnt slim enough.
so please try to understand
that im not trying to be difficult.
just try to understand
that i cant see myself the way
you see me.
__
because she says im perfect and im not
