complacent

i tend not to think about it

I tend not to think about the fact that you barely speak to me anymore
I try to leave it at the curb, it doesn't matter much to me.
I say that, but truly it does, and you asked for some time
because that's all you need.
so I don't talk to you anymore, unless you'd speak first
but that never happens.
whenever you say you need time, I imagine that late night on skype back in December or January
when you and I were talking about things, and I smiled like the sun
and you told me how you loved time
that's why you had a ticking clock always in your room,
lulling you to sleep and ushering you to wake in the morning
time, you loved it so much, you loved the metaphor so much you became it
with pocket watches and stop watches and clocks strewn about your broken desk
you took them all in your great big arms.
smiling, laughing, you rolled around on your bed, time on your hands
"what do I love? Time!"
I giggled as you dramatically exclaimed it all
"Nobody gives me anytime! Time! Time....Time!"
I remember that and the way we looked at each other and the beaming smiles.
I knew we were in love, and I understand now why you left me, and even though I couldn't give you what you want, I'd always be here to give you what I can.
So maybe writing this poem was a way for me to gain some closure.
I don't want to go crazy again, so this is my way of self sufficiency, I suppose.
i tend not to think about it as much. I still miss you, and love you as I did before,
but it's a different kind of feeling now, a vauge hope, longing, and tinge of pain in the burning beautiful fire that is or was my love.
I don't understand yet, why you won't come back to me, but I can feign understanding.
I can't say I'm apathetic about it, but I understand what must be shall be,
and I only wish the best for you, so I send to you hope,
So with this poem,
I send to you hope,
I send to you peace,
I sent to you love,
I don't send you anymore messages.