complacent

haha suh, dude

hey, some nights i miss ya

but then i remember you're a fucking asshole.

i really miss my friends. i love you yet even though you swore you loved me

you just loved the rush.

so save yourself the horror of true love and spare me the drama,

you only wanted me because i was unreachable for so long.

and you played me like a deck of cards or your video games.

im kinda tired of that, yaknow. 

my sun and my moon, and the wolves that howled by it all left in a single blow, and so 

the world came to be 

s 

i

l 

e

n

t

as the grass swayed in the fields, warm breezes licked my face and yet

i could not bring myself to jump over that cliff because 

in my sick little mind you still mattered more to me than my life did.

so its quite the shame that i came to be this way.

my heart grew and grew until it grew cold.

i fucked with ouija boards and dressed in all black and wore sunglasses and too much

makeup because it was something i liked to do.

i walked down the railroad tracks earlier tonight and love, i wanna tell you so much

if you'd hear about my adventures.

you see i keep myself occupied with friends and i write these poems and forget them.

like i write these poems to keep myself from dying late at night like my sweet

kitty.

today i walked down the railroad tracks and i lost my cat and buried him.

today i pet a frog or a toad, today i witnessed my friend get catcalled and ran 

across a parking lot to escape fuck boys following us in their truck

and my anxiety took over me

 so as they revved their engines i yelled 

"ADRIAN RUN, NOW"

and we hid by the old staples.

oh love so much happened.

today i felt at home

and today i used a planchette,

and talked to this ghost named

cc.

she liked PB sandwiches, and came for good and bad reasons.

then

she left.

goodbye.