stronger together//frerard

chapter five

On Thursday, their mood is rather different. They go jogging, they cook and eat lunch together, and only get out of each other's hair during the afternoon. Gerard goes straight into the office, but Frank goes to the bedroom and notices that Gerard left the door ajar. He lies on the bed, trying to choose what to do that day, trying to decide if he should join Gerard or not, but he falls asleep before he gets to a decision. When he wakes up, barely an hour later, Frank sits on Gerard's side of the bed, turned to the French doors that lead to the balcony, which connects the bedroom to the living room. He takes a swift glance at the corner between the bed and the wall.

It's pretty much a copy of Gerard's peace corner, the one Frank saw at Gerard's house, years ago when Frank went to his house to do research for an essay for school. It has the same wooden cross, the pearl white rosary and the three Bibles, except now it's their corner.

Frank kneels down for a moment, considering all the things that have been happening lately. He doesn't wonder how God sees them right now because he knows He is very tolerant and merciful and that His plan will eventually follow through. Frank just needs to be patient and try to get the best of this relationship, of Gerard, and do his best as well. There seems to be a deep need of trust in the situation they're going through at the moment, and he does believe that Gerard will tell him about what's going on. Frank might have to intervene, but only minimally.

After a short conversation with his grandmother, who he still talks to very often, Frank gets up and picks up the book on his nightstand, sitting down on the mat they have in the corner. Frank leans against the bed and continues reading this book; it's one of Gerard's. It's been seven years into this relationship and Frank still hasn't finished Gerard's huge collection yet. He reads a lot today and he doesn't stop until it's dinnertime. Then, he knocks on the office door and asks Gerard what he wants for dinner, but Gerard doesn't want to choose, so, grinning and shaking his head at Gerard's indecision, Frank selects the menu for tonight and cooks it alone. Later on, they eat it out on the balcony, sitting on the kitchen chairs that Frank put out there before he called Gerard over.

That night, they watch a game show on prime time TV and then, they kneel by the armoire under the television set and choose a horror movie to watch. As it rolls on the screen, Gerard starts leaning his head over Frank's shoulder, as he's falling asleep, but Frank keeps nudging him and waking him up with a smile. He decides they're going to bed before the movie ends, because this isn't working for them.

Frank goes to the bathroom first. It's late, yet he doesn't feel like he could sleep due to the unexpected nap he took in the afternoon, but he goes to the bedroom and gets ready for bed nonetheless. He finds Gerard there, lying down over the bedding.

"Come here," says Gerard, beckoning Frank close by stretching an arm. Frank notices that his eyes are shining and he realizes that he hasn't seen that look in a long time.

There's anticipation in Gerard's eyes, like he means to do something to Frank. It's the same look from when they used to have sex, curled around each other, loving each other. Frank obeys, but doesn't stop looking into Gerard's eyes, climbing onto the bed slowly. Once he's close enough, Frank kisses Gerard's lips and curls one arm around him. They have barely touched each other sexually since they moved in, except that handjob in February and a few scarce kisses over time, even though Frank has tried to get something out of Gerard very often, but tonight Frank is willing to try again.

He starts by kissing Gerard harder, pressing onto his lips with his tongue and as Gerard's mouth opens under Frank's, Gerard hums and drapes one hand over the back of Frank's neck, the other around Frank's hips.

Frank moans and slides further over the sheet, skimming his leg over Gerard's body, moving his knee upward until he rubs against Gerard's crotch. He wants to see if there's any reaction, but Gerard only rolls them around and lies on top of Frank. He lets it happen, lets Gerard trap his hands against the mattress and roll his hips over Frank's cock until he's hard. Frank loses himself in this pleasure of being loved by Gerard, moaning as Gerard kisses down his chest and stomach and then on his cock.

Sucking Frank off is quick tonight, but it's nothing less than an amazing blowjob, because Gerard has not lost any of his abilities with his tongue. It's still heavy and wet and down to the point, right where Frank likes it and where it makes Frank moan and thrash on the bed, driving Frank mad with his skills. When he comes, he pulls Gerard back on top of him, kissing his mouth and sliding a hand down his shorts, trying to reciprocate. Gerard, however, gets off of Frank gently and lies back on his side, on the mattress.

"Don't worry about it," he says with a sigh, closing his eyes and staying at an arm's distance from Frank. Apparently, their proximity tonight is over again.

Of course Frank is worried, though and he slides a hand over Gerard's side and over his crotch again, getting a feel of it, but he finds no erection there. Gerard is not hard, not even after sucking Frank off, which used to put him in overdrive and Frank never took too long getting him off afterwards. Tonight, Frank tries to be smooth and wraps one hand around Gerard's cock, as he keeps his eyes closed and sighs every once in a while. He kisses Gerard again and curls his leg around Gerard's, trying to get him hard, but nothing happens. Gerard even takes Frank's hand away after a while, sighing deeper.

"Just— Don't bother," Gerard says, but his voice doesn't fool Frank. He sounds terribly sad.

"Is everything alright?" Frank interrupts, truly concerned. Could Gerard's problem be so bad that if he thinks too much about it, his body won't let him perform sexually? Frank caresses his face, thumbing at Gerard's cheekbone and whispers, "I'll always be here for you, so don't be afraid to talk to me. I love you, Gerard."

wraps it up with a small kiss on Gerard's lips, but he doesn't get any other form of reply. Frank lets it go for now and pecks Gerard's cheek, turning around so that Gerard can spoon behind him with his face buried in Frank's messy hair.

Neither of them says anything else, but Frank wonders what is wrong with Gerard. Now that he really thinks about it, back in February, Gerard jerked Frank off, but Frank didn't do anything in return because Gerard refused to let Frank touch his dick. There's something more to this and Frank will find out what it is, and most importantly he'll make Gerard talk about it. This silence won't solve anything.