kiss the boy | scömìche

chapter twenty two

WARNING: brief mention of suicide

"Mitchie, Mitchie! You'll never guess what Alex asked me!"

Scott comes bounding into their apartment, too excited to notice Mitch uncurl from the small miserable ball he was in and quickly wipe away his tears. He jumps onto the couch beside Mitch, his smile bright and his eyes the happiest Mitch has seen them. With shaking fingers, Mitch slowly writes a note.

What?

"He asked me to be his boyfriend!"

Mitch feels his heart break at those words, yet he doesn't know why. Numb, he scribbles another note.

And what did you say?

"Yes, of course! Isn't this great?"

Mitch smiles weakly, feeling tears brim in his eyes and quickly blinking them away.

Yeah, Scottie. I'm happy for you.

And he is.

He really, really is.

Mitch knows that Alex makes Scott happy, and that's all that matters.

The fact that Mitch's heart is slowly breaking and he doesn't know why doesn't matter. The fact that Mitch rarely sees Scott anymore because of Alex doesn't matter. None of that matters, because Scott is happy.

And that's all that matters.

+++

A few hours later, Scott is laying on Mitch's chest, and Mitch's gentle fingers trail through his hair. Scott's eyes are closed and his breathing is soft, and Mitch almost thinks he's asleep until he speaks.

"Are you alright, Mitchie? You seem . . . sad."

I'm fine.

"Are you sure? Is it because of me?"

Yes, Scott, I'm fine. And even if I wasn't, it could never be your fault.

"Positive?"

As Mitch looks down at those beautiful blue eyes, he feels something inside him snap. He sighs, pushing Scott's head down so it rests on his chest again and resuming his fingers' path.

No. I'm not fine. But I will be. You're helping.

As soon as Scott reads the first word, he pulls away and looks into Mitch's dark eyes, not bothering to read the rest. Mitch stares back at him warily, radiating pure exhaustion. "Is it because of me?" Scott asks again, his voice soft and sad. Immediately, Mitch shakes his head, pulling Scott back down once more.

No. You're helping.

Scott sniffles, tears forming in his eyes at the thought of being the cause of Mitch's sadness, but quickly blinks them away. He tightens his arms around Mitch's waist, preventing him from getting up. His next words are so quiet Mitch has to strain himself to hear him.

"You don't deserve to be sad, Mitchie."

That's what causes the thing inside him to snap completely, and Mitch starts to cry, tears silently streaming down his cheeks. He brings Scott as close to him as he possibly can to the point where Scott is almost totally on top of him, but Scott pulls away because he doesn't want to crush Mitch. He sees Mitch's tears and is immediately more concerned, pulling the small man into his chest and holding him tightly. Mitch hides his face in Scott's neck, clinging to him as though his life depends on it.

They sit like that for a while, just holding each other and trying to stop crying. So long, in fact, that Scott feels Mitch grow heavier in his arms and his breathing even out. Scott smiles softly down at the sleeping boy, bending down to kiss his tear-stained face.

He can't help but think how grateful he is to be holding Mitch in his arms right then.

Because sure, Mitch has tried to kill himself. Sure, Mitch doesn't speak because of his abusive boyfriend. Sure, he's been through more troubles than many people will ever experience.

But he's alive and safe.

And that's all that matters.