Covert Affair [Snowbarry Spy AU]

Apologies

Barry had been standing in front of Caitlin's apartment door for the past 10 minutes, not doing anything except thinking about what he would tell her. His whole body felt heavy from guilt and weariness – still sore form the warehouse action. He had stopped by his place to shower and change – somehow he didn't think she would appreciate him coming with a bloody shirt. He was sick of this whole game that his job was asking him to do. But he had no choice and absolutely no control over the things that were happening to him. He felt like he was someone else, watching his life on a TV screen, trying to guess what would happen next.

Finally, he found the courage to lift his hand – which seemed way too heavy – to knock on her door. After a short moment of silence, he heard naked feet padding across her wooden floor on the other side of the door. When it opened, his breath caught at the sight of her face. Her hair was up in a messy bun, a lock falling right in front of her red and tired eyes, her perfect eyebrows forming a deep frown, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Caitlin looked at him in silence, waiting for him to say something.

Barry buried his hands in his pockets, rocked on the ball of his feet and cleared his throat. "Listen, I know I was a jerk..."

"No kidding..." She cut him off drily before he could apologise. Caitlin turned around and went back into the apartment, leaving the front door open.

Barry took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping down as he followed her, closing the door behind him. Letting him inside was probably a sign that Caitlin was willing to forgive him, if he played his cards right. Or she would've slammed the door on his face, leaving him in the corridor.

She settled against her table, crossing her arms on her chest, taking a defensive pose. Barry bought himself some time, taking his jacket off and putting it on the arm of her couch. He looked up at her, trying to ignore how good she looked when she was pissed off – which was a lot harder then he thought. "But I'm really sorry, I don't know what came over me..." He cautiously continued – ignoring the urge he had to just cross the room and take her in his arms.

"Well a simple excuse won't cut it, Barry!" She spat out, angrily. "Do you have any idea how I felt after you left this morning?!" She threw her arms in the air. "And the whole day, waiting for a small sign that you... that we were okay?!"

Guilt submerged him, making him look down at his feet. He felt like dread was taking over him. "I'm really sorry, but something came up at work and I got stuck there. I wanted to come back earlier." He mumbled, still not looking at her, the patterns on her wooden floor way more interesting. And less frightening.

"Yeah right..." He could practically hear Caitlin roll her eyes in exasperation.

His eyes flew up to hers. "What is that supposed to mean?!" Without any control, his voice got angrier, like his macho ego was taking over. "I'm not lying about that!"

Her eyes went round. "About that?! So you are lying about something!" Her eyes narrowed, her voice was harder and an almost satisfied grin appeared on her lips.

It was almost like he didn't recognise her. Or himself. What was happening to them?

"Wait... What?! No no no... nooo..." He rambled, trying to gather his wits back.

Caitlin shook her head. "Yes, that's what I was thinking..." She huffed, her shoulders slumping down in defeat. "You know what, Barry?! I'm sick of this!" She added with a firm but strained voice.

Barry felt like all his muscles were contracted all of a sudden, his whole body tense and as hard as a wooden plank. His throat was completely dry but somehow he managed to croak: "What do you mean?"