Tevun-Krus #29 - Punk Wars!

Author Spotlight: @HardeeBurger

Now, we've been trying to get an interview with this guy for months and finally, we did!

Hello! The unenviable HardeeBurger has been shanghaied by the much more enviable staff of Tevun Krus into being shipped with Ms. AngerBra, and then asked to answer questions, the first of which is THIS -

If you had to describe yourself in one word, what words wouldn't you use?

This is a strange question. It seems ludicrous. I mean, the choices are endless. How about 'packing peanut?' I wouldn't use those words to describe myself, mainly because those words don't meet the one-word description limit. 'Hockey puck' and 'ice cream sandwich' also fall in that category, though if the one-word limit was lifted, I'd allow the former.Here. Let's go with these words – Large. Black. Woman. Of those, I am none. Well... again, I might have to allow the former if we're talking about my...No. Forget it. We'll stick with None.

What was your nickname at school?

My nickname in school was The Handsome Boy Who All The Girls Adore, except I was the only person who ever called me that. Everybody else called me The Boog. And the double-O is OO as in MOON, not OO as in BOOK.

When you were a young padawan, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A rocket scientist. Literally. I also wanted to be a teacher, but if I was going to teach anything it would have been Rocket Sciencetry. Scientistity. Scien...Never mind. I wanted to be a Rocket Scientist.

What is your favourite quote?

My favorite quotes tend to come from t-shirts. Of those, "Lean n' Mean" is my favorite, which, if you read 'Six Lessons on Sex' in my Non-Fiction 'Love Your Gonna Hate' anthology, you'll find the reason why. A more realistic sort of t-shirt quote would be "Never argue with an asshole – people might not notice the difference." But since I don't know who said that, here's one from The Tick that I like - "You can't let the package hide the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! Don't cotton to it!"This is from the cartoon version of The Tick, not that stupid live action failure starring Seinfeld's Puddy.

Other than writing, what hobbies do you have?

I have a ton of hobbies that, ever since I also had kids, I now rarely get to do. Plus my hobbies are typically group activities, and all my friends are old these days and mostly want to just sit. Fishing, camping, volleyball, skating and Revolutionary War Re-enacting come to mind. And of course, Model Rocketry.Dancing Like I've Got Ants in my Pants should also be included, which I still get to do from time to time. Typically with Girls Who Adore Me, at least for a song or three.Summerfest – The World's Largest Music Festival – opens June 29th. Expect to see me there, dancing on the bleachers.

As your crew cast your lifeless body into the core of the nearest star, list three pieces of music likely to be rattling the bulkheads.

Hmm. This question is unfair. There are, like, a zillion songs I like. But let's go with songs that other people would want to hear. And those are Highway to Hell by ACDC, The Flame by Cheap Trick, Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel and The One by Elton John.Yes, I know. That's four songs, not three. But if you don't let each member of my Adoring Crew play their own Our Song, there will be a cat fight.Me-Yow!

Who is your all-time favourite author? How much - if at all - have they influenced your writing style?