Dear Diary

9/8/13

Dear Diary,

Well I guess I'm actually going to write in this after years of having it on my nightstand and never actually opening it.

I remember when I was little, I actually cared enough to write everything. Haha my spelling back then was so horrid, when I was trying to read them, I barely understood it.

Since I plan on being a writer or something along those lines if I make it that far, I might as well get used to writing daily.

Maybe I should write about everything so that when I look back on this I'll know what was going on in my life.

Here goes nothing I guess.

My name is Jessica.

I hate being called Jess or Jessie, except my a selected few.

I hate popular people, except my best friend, even though I'm considered popular.

I may have a teeny tiny crush on someone, he's not popular though, and doesn't want to be, which I admire.

I don't believe in happy endings or true love, yet I write cliches and have crushes.

I actually prefer being in the background, yet I try to be friends with everyone.

I'm a major hypocrite.

I love music.

I'd die if it weren't for music. Literally.

I don't know what I'll do with my life. I say that I'll be a writer sitting at a cafe somewhere in England, but I worry about ever making it that far, and I don't mean being successful.

I have thoughts that people my age shouldn't or maybe that's my way of coping with my past.

I'm grateful for what I have, but what gets to me is that I don't deserve it.

My friends find it weird how I can be so popular, yet like blending in with the crowd so much.

I have more secrets than even I can remember, but the ones that I do, it would give someone who mistakenly reads this nightmares.

~J