Be Mine

Chapter 22

   It seemed as though every time I was in the Deadheads by myself it was only a matter of time before Newt found me. But that's not how it happened this time.
   I just sat up in the tree, staring at the other trees surrounding me. I sighed. What was I doing with my life? I wondered. Shucking WICKED. If it weren't for them, I could be attending high school, have friends that were actually girls, have a nice loving family. I could have siblings who I would argue with only to realize how much I love them later. I could find "the one" and get married. I could have an education. A good job. I could have the perfect life. But no. And it's all WICKED's fault. "ARGH!" I screamed. "I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!"
   If it were any other time, Newt would've come out of the shadows, laughing at me before wrapping his arms around me and comforting me. Now not even that could happen. Tears streamed down my face. No one cared about me. No one would ever love me. No one here wanted to be my friend. No one would even care if I had died. No one cares about anything anymore. Especially not me.
   Stop thinking that way! I mentally screamed at myself. More tears fell. Who was I kidding? I was nothing here. Newt doesn't care about me anymore. Ben will never be himself again. Chuck has been hanging out with Thomas more often. Minho still was too embarrassed to talk to me. Alby was too busy leading everyone. Frypan was too busy in the kitchen. Gally was Gally. I had no one. Absolutely no one. So who would care if I was gone? One less mouth to feed anyway.
   I climbed down the tree and walked around. I tried clearing my head from all the horrible thoughts I was having. I tried to replace them with positive thoughts but it was impossible. I looked down at the ground. Something that looked like metal was laying there. I picked it up. It looked like part of a knife. Who would break a knife and just leave it out here in the Deadheads? I wondered. Suddenly I got a crazy idea.
   I must've been mad. I took the sharp edge and slowly brought it to my wrist. Part of me was screaming at myself not to do it. The other half of me was urging myself to do it. I continued to cry until my vision was blurred by the tears. I can't do it, I told myself. But my thoughts didn't match what my arm was doing.
   "HELP!" I heard someone scream. I dropped the sharp metal and whipped around. It sounded like Thomas. "HELP!"
   "THOMAS?!" I shouted. "IS THAT YOU?!"
   "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
   I ran in the direction of the voice. Soon I heard footsteps. They were running toward the Glade. I stopped running and looked around. Then I saw Thomas running. He ran right past me. Then I saw someone else. Someone who appeared to be chasing him. He also ran right past me. I turned in the direction they ran and followed them.
   "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I heard a voice yell. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
   I saw now that it was Ben chasing Thomas. No, Ben no, I thought.
   "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Thomas screamed as Ben tried tackling him.
   "BEN! STOP!" I yelled. He looked so different. His veins were visible along his extremely white skin. He no longer looked like the sweet Ben who was once my best friend. Now he looked like a horrible monster who was ready to attack anything or anyone in his way. I started tearing up again. My poor best friend, how could he become something so foul and terrible?
   Alby appeared with a bow pointed at Ben. "Ben! Get off of him!"
   Ben didn't move.
   I watched in silence.
   "Ben!"
   "Don't kill me!" Ben pleaded. "It's him you need to kill! He did this to us!"
   "What are you talking about?" Alby asked.
   "He's bad! He put us here! He'll take us out! We can't go out! Might as well jump off the Cliff!"
   "Ben, go back to bed. You shouldn't even be out."
   "No! He's bad! Bad, I tell you! Bad!!"
   "Go back to bed, Ben!" Alby said sternly.
   Ben refused to move.
   Alby looked ready to shoot Ben.
   "STOP!" I cried out before Alby could do anything.
   "What the shuck is wrong with you?" Alby asked.
   "Don't shoot him! Please!" I pleaded.
   "Addison, go away," Alby said.
   "But Alby-"
   "Go away now!"
   I started crying again and ran to my room. Alby was going to kill my best friend. I already lost Newt due to a stupid argument. Thomas had taken my little brother from me. And now a Griever has taken Ben away from me. I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it. "ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR!" I cried until I had no tears left. Soon I had drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.