reckless // sammy wilk

3.4 feelings fade

SONG; Feelings Fade - gnash, RKCB

-

1 week later

I'm almost home, and lets just say I don't want to be.

I don't want to go back to reality, I don't want to have to go back to work, I wish I could've laid beachside forever.

My phone was off pretty much the entire trip, I only used it to take pictures but that was it. This vacation was well overdue and I'm glad Amanda pushed me to ask my boss for the time off because if I didn't, things would've gotten progressively worse.

The über driver pulled up to our house and helped us take out our suitcases before driving off.

Amanda stopped for a moment to check our mailbox, while I kept walking up the driveway and noticed a wilted rose and an envelope at the doorstep.

I stopped in my tracks and just stared at it. I already knew who it was from but part of me was hoping it was that Zack dude making a romantic gesture towards Amanda.

"Whats the hol-" Amanda said before she realized what I was looking at

I said nothing, just picked up the rose and note, unlocked the door and went straight to the kitchen and tossed the rose in the garbage.

After my moment, I continued on and brought my suitcase into my room so I could unpack.

Before unpacking, I couldn't help but open the envelope and read the note that was inside of it,

Ava,

           I know I messed up, and it will forever be my fault that I won't be able to hold you at night when you're sad. I hope you find someone who doesn't make you sad at night like I did and someone who reminds you how much they adore you every day and who laughs at your jokes and wants to listen to your music and who genuinely wants to be with you and doesn't make you second guess their admirance for you. I really hope you find that, because you deserve that. You deserve the world Ava.

                               Sincerely, Sam

Tears welled up in my eyes as reality set in. 

Why did I lie at Escondido Canyon? Why couldn't I have been honest and just seen where things could have gone?

But why did Sam never show this side of him when he was around me? Most of the time he had a cocky, arrogant attitude but when I end things, he shows a completely different side of him? It doesn't make sense.

I'm over him, I quickly escaped my thoughts and began to unpack. I'm going to have to grow up one day so why not make it today. No more bullshit, I deserve better.

-

I was awoken by my phone buzzing on my bed beside me, it was my boss.

"Hello?" I answered, I was almost sure I didn't have work until tomorrow

"Hi Ava, I know you don't have to work until tomorrow but an offer just came up, and I think it would be perfect for you to take if you are interested"

"Uh.. huh?" I was still half asleep so the words my boss was saying weren't quite processing

"I got a call from one of the clothing directors at OAK New York, and they saw some of your photos and want you to model for their new clothing line coming out"

"But.. I rarely model, I only have a few photos up on our site, I mostly just work on the sets, are you sure I'm the one they want?"

"I'm positive Ava, now you have to give me an answer now or I have to tell them to find another model. If you are worried about your job here, you will still have it when you get back"

"How long will I be gone for?" 

"3 months, all of your expenses while you're there will be paid for"

"I, uh.. can I call you back in 5 minutes?" 

"Yes, hurry" my boss said before I hung up and ran to Amanda's room to see what she thought about this

-

"DO IT" Amanda said excitedly after telling her the offer, "Its the perfect chance for you to get away from the city for a while and completely forget about Sam... I hope you threw the note away along with the rose by the way.." She added on

"I read the note" I said before the thought came to me

This really is the perfect chance to leave this all behind for a while, and although I will miss Amanda.. I'll only be gone for five months and it will give me time to completely bury myself in work and shopping so I can forget about my feelings for Sam.

"Ava.."

"I'm going" I said before calling my boss back to accept the offer

[after phone call]

"Manda I leave tomorrow night" I said as I walked up to her and pouted

"Just remember, this is whats best for you.. No second guessing" 

This is all crazy, I used to hate my job but I've learnt to love it because of all the amazing people I work with, and now this amazing opportunity to MODEL in New York just blows my mind.

-MORNING-

New York for 3 months? Yes please. and I hit tweet, I then got out of bed and tidied my room, I'm leaving for 3 months so I'm obviously going to want a clean room for when I get back.

One of the many perks to this trip is that I can bring my 2 puppies. 

Last night one of the directors from OAK e-mailed me and sent me a link to the loft in Brooklyn I will be living at, and pets are allowed so I'm obviously bringing my 2 puppies with me.

I had already began to start packing, but I decided to quickly finish up and make sure I have everything later.

"Ava! Get dressed, were going out for breakfast!" Amanda shouted across the hallway

"Where are we going?" I shouted back

"Blu Jam"

"Okay! I'm coming!" I yelled as I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs

-6:53pm-

"I'm going to miss you so much" Amanda said as she began to tear up

"I'll FaceTime you every night before I go to bed" I said as I hugged her

"Okay, this will be good. I'm so proud of you Ava" She smiled as she looked at me

"Alright hug me once more before I go through security" I said with open arms and hugged Amanda tighter than I ever have before

"I'll be here to pick you up when you get back okay?" She mumbled in my ear

"Love you Amanda.."

"Love you too Ava" She let go and gave a small smile as I walked away 

After I got through security, I sat down at the terminal with a few minutes to spare before the flight would start boarding.

I was scrolling through my twitter timeline as I saw an unexpected tweet,

sammywilk: Miss you already

I bent my head back and rolled my eyes, 3 months, I mumbled to myself

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i think i apologize in every chapter for taking so long to update but its just taking a while for me to come up with new ideas & i really want this to turn out good so ya sorry lol

xoxo, g