reckless // sammy wilk

3.6 take a bow

SONG; Take A Bow - Rihanna

-

Considering how much I missed being home while I was in New York, I'm surprised at how badly I wish I was back in New York right now.

Its been 4 fucking hours and Sam won't get his eyes and hands off of me.

I've had quite a lot to drink and so has Sam, but I'm not drunk enough to be persuaded by Sam's words. 

This is so typical of him.. barely talk to me while he's sober and once he gets a few shots of hennessy in him he's all over me.

All I want from him is to act this way around me when he's sober, not just drunk. I want someone who's crazy about me all the time and not afraid to show it.

The shitty thing is that I think I fell really hard this time and I know its gonna fuck me up in the end and I've been trying to deny it in hopes of getting over him but who cares because being with him seems like the right thing right now.

One thing I'm sure of is that if Sam really wants to be with me, I'm going to make sure I'm not going to be an easy catch. I need to know he will actually put in effort to get me & keep me.

"Cmon baby, show me some love" Sam said as he grabbed and held onto my waist

"Sam, stop" I said firmly

"Let's just go upstairs" He grabbed my hand and began pulling me towards the stairs, and I immediately knew what his intentions were

"You've got to be fucking insane to think I would go upstairs with you so easily after the stunts you pulled" I stopped in my tracks and pulled my hand away from his, "I thought you would have changed.. but 3 months later, I come back and you're still the same as you were when you left"

"I'm so-" I cut him off, "Stop it. No you're not sorry. If you were sorry and really wanted to fix things you would have changed your actions."

He said nothing, as expected and I walked away.

--

I woke up in my bedroom and it was so nice.

First time in 3 months waking up in the comfort of my own home has never felt so good.

I began to hear a bunch of things downstairs fall over, I'm guessing, so I quickly jumped out of bed to check what was going on.

After running down the stairs, it came as no surprise to me to see Sam standing in the middle of a pile of bottles that had fallen down from the table they were on.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?!" I whisper yelled

"You think I know that?! I don't remember half of the fucking things that went on last night"

"Of course you don't" I muttered as I began picking up all of the bottles

"What?"

"I said of course you don't"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you remember from last night Sam?" I stopped picking up bottles and Sam sat across from me

"Uh, smoking with Skate and some other chick" He took a moment to think

"Is that all?"

"Why? What did I do?"

This boy really was clueless.

"So you don't remember being a jealous fuck and holding me by your side almost the entire night while I was trying to have fun after being gone for 3 months?!"

He said nothing, again.

"Silence, just like last night when I told you to stop saying sorry because you're not." I stood up and brushed myself off, "You know where the door is" I said before turning around and walking upstairs to shower.

--

After getting out of the shower and thinking about the way I acted this morning towards Sam, I wanted to text him and apologize for how bitchy I was.. but at the same time, I have a very valid reason to be angry with him.

"Amandaaaa" I whined as I walked into her room

"Whats wrong?" She asked and patted the spot on her bed next to her

"I'm not over Sam" I sighed and laid beside her

"Did anything happen between you guys last night?"

"Well you saw that awkward side hug when he walked in the door right?" I said and she nodded, "Okay well I thought that was going to be it for contact with him last the night but I was completely wrong"

"What did he do?"

"He wouldn't leave my side. I'd get away for a moment but seconds later he'd come by and hold onto my waist as if we were a fucking couple" I rolled my eyes and held my head as I began to feel a headache, "Why can't I get over him Amanda?"

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hiii i suck

&if anyone remembers the blurb i posted abt the guys i met heres an update if u care: he snap chatted me and thats pretty much all i gotta say I'm kinda over it now lmao

im so sorry for not updating but I'm busy as fuck and i whenever i have free time I'm usually napping 

ill try to get better at updating regularly :///

xoxo, g