Snake[Izaya X Reader]

The truth

"It's to late now..."

"It's to late now...Izaya..."

I-It's better like that...

No...

No...

What was I thinking...Once again is he analyzing everything that happened from the very beginning until this moment....his thoughts are so messy...

"I'm leaving anyway"...

I should have never involve into this! At first time that they met she fired interest in him. He planned to observe her, but because of business they began to interact often. He was interested in a challenge, so why not give it a try. And that's when he made a mistake. He risked, he risked since it was so much fun. Everything was going just perfect until he decided to try to play with her emotions.

She appeared as strong person, so why not try to put her on test? Not only that she successfully passed it, she went over expectations.He put her in different awkward positions and still everytime she reacted unexpected but confident. At first he was pretending like he cares, that he feels bad that she got shot months ago. But he didn't...it was all a play, to manipulate, to get closer.

Her powerful will to life and strength were completly opposite of his weak self. Never before he has been enthusiastic over a human so much, like he was avid over her. How kind and charming she seems. Ruthless...how ruthless she actually is. He has seen many felonies. How brother killed brother, how empires were burnt down by it's own people, how pawns were sacrificed... And yet. And yet she seemed more interesting than any of that. How speciously she lured Lizzy, with silky voice she began to deceive her, like snake deceived Eve. Oh how much was God drawn by that malice of hers, how appeling was that to him. It really was interesting to see her weak and impotent, in need to be taken care of. That reminded him, he remembered...that night..."I'm here for you, you're not alone anymore, so don't be scared...."...he remembered his uncontrolled actions and senseless thoughts which were filling his mind. He began to sink, sink into her deception, even God almost got duped into web of snakes lies. At least that was what he thought. He found her dangerous to him, beside Shinra she was the only one who saw through him. But at the same time she reminded him of Shizuo, she was the one who would be able to break him, but no way he would let that happen.

And still he was bothered by something that happened in the past. It was bothering him so much. He still isn't sure how had he ended up saving her. He hated it! It disgusted him. He risked his own life? FOR WHAT?! ...he has no idea...

that feeling that he got when she surprised him in hospital...it sure was a nice feeling...but he needed time to think...he was confused. He was frightened to trust someone like her, he was afraid that he'll again do something unreasonable. He had to get away, he was on the edge. He already was tired of flash backs caused by his trauma and it's stress, he wasn't ready to make it worst, he couldn't risk. Maybe that's why he betrayed her, he wasn't even sure anymore. So that's why he was glad to see her sadistic side, he prefered physical pain over psychical.... And yet he was lost, once again after he had been eavesdropping when [f/n] was talking with Shinra, it confused him even more after he heard that conversation. So that's why he wanted to see, to make it sure if he was right. And he was right....She rejected him, like every minute with him is a pain. He had a wish to ask her something. He was struggling so badly, but on the end he held himself back, leaving, leving it behind. So once again he began to observe from safe distance, to see how many lifes will she destory. But instead she seemed aloof and sad, and that was unlike her. He missed that spark in her eyes, the energy that she was giving, the aura which was drawning people to her. He didn't understand...what is going on with her? what is going on with him? Especially now that he had found out that she is leaving...now that he found out how fragile is she....