Rejected

1

    I applied the last bit of foundation to my bruise covered face. My black sweeter had little spots of make up on them that I quickly wiped off. I cleaned the cuts on my thighs as quickly pulled on a loose fitting pair of jeans. I pulled my backpack onto one shoulder and walked down stairs. I set it down on the counter and made my father his breakfast. I cooked eggs and bacon and set them out neatly on a plate. His loud stomps made their way downstairs. He set a fork in the hot stove and let it sit. He sat down and snatched the plate away from me. I hugged myself waiting for his opinion. I had seen what he did with that fork more times then I can count. He took a bite and scowled.

    " not good enough." He mumbled.

     He walked over to me as I kept my head down. He pulled his hand back and slapped me. I fell to the floor onto my back. I Leaned on my elbows and looked up at him in horror. He walked over and picked up the fork. He grabbed my arm before I could hide it. He pushed my sleeve up and extended my arm.

     I braced myself for what I knew would happen next. I whimpered as the hot metal laid itself onto my skin. I cried out as the pain became to much. I felt tears nip at my eyes as the sound of a sizzle filled my ears. He pulled the fork away once it was cold. Four new black lines colored my skin. His grip on my hand was as tight as a snakes. He was leaving more bruises as he glared at me.

" stupid bitch" he mumbled.

     He pulled his foot back and rammed it into my side. I whimpered as he continued to hit my already bruised side. He stomped on my chest as I laid there and endured the beating. He grabbed my hair.

      "Don't repeat this tomorrow!" He screamed. " do you understand me?!" He screamed as his fist tightened in my hair.

     I nodded quickly. He let go and slapped my again making my head turn to the side. I shook with fear. One that ate away at the pit of my stomach. He looked at me with disgust. He spat at me before walking away. I got up and wiped the spit away with a hand towel. My makeup was smudged and smeared. My hair resembled a birds nest. I stood up and limped my way to my room. A hand holding my side and another held the wall for support. I made my way to my room and collapsed as soon as I made it through the door. I crawled to my bathroom and closed the door behind me. I leaned against it with tears streaming down my face. This wasn't a factor of the physical pain, this was from the emotional pain. I had nothing left, and I was nothing to everyone. I never mattered nor would I. I just a fat slave. Fathers right, I do need to loose some weight. I sighed trying to control myself. I pushed myself forwards and grabbed my razor. I sat on the toilet and pulled my pants down.

   One for my father

   One for my mom

    One for my depression

   And one more for the only thing I have left. My mate.

    I hadn't found him yet, but there was still that hope, that he would take me away from here. That he'd save me, and love my grotesque body. I jumped at a knock.

    " Hurry up before your late!" My father screamed. I whimpered in response. As you can tell I don't talk a lot. I'm labeled at a mute as a result. I quickly fixed my makeup and changed my torn shirt. I walked down stairs and grabbed my back pack. My father stopped me with a held out hand. I ignored my fathers threats saying that if I ran away he would hunt me down and kill me.

    " do you understand me?" He asked a little calmer.

       I nodded. He let me past him and out the door. I walked slowly to school. My steps were soft and quiet as the sidewalks began to fill with snow. I shivered wishing at this moment I had a jacket. Father refused to buy me anything like that saying I didn't need it.