Rejected

9

My eyes slowly fluttered opened to streams of lights seeping into the room. I groaned and pulled the covers over my face. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to move, I didn't want to wake up, I didn't wnt to be alive. Life was breaking around me. My sense of security was falling around me. He was still alive. He was still here.

He could still hurt me, and would. I curled into a ball and scrunched my eyes shut. I didn't want to be awake today. I opened my eyes and slowly pulled my exhuasted body forwards. I pulled the blankets off my body and slowly slid to the edge. I looked down at myself. I was wearing an oversized blue shirt that I think was alpha's and black sweat pants.

I had on black ankle socks covering my feet. I stood up from the uncomfortable hospital bed and walked over to the bag that Mrs. More left me. Alpha doesn't want me to get attached to her since I'm leaving anyways. I opened the bag and took out a sleeping with sirens t-shirt and black jeans. I dug in the bottom of the bad and took out a jet black hoodie and walked to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took my hair out of its bun, I turned on the shower and locked the door. I set the clothes on the sink and took off alpha's shirt.

I slid out of the sweat pants. I kept my head down and avoided the mirror. I took off my undergarmets and got into the shower. I let my head rest against the wall and let the cold water nip at my skin. Alpha made sure I didn't have any access to any razors, I've been going crazy not having a way to cope. I have no control. My wrists itched at the thought. Maybe if I clawed at them.

Maybe if I could get hold of a knife. But I couldn't do that, alpha wouldn't even let me near the kitchen. He had even put wolfs bane in my water to make sure I couldn't talk to my wolf. Which meant no claws. I was sure he was just doing it so that she could rest. She was weak after my suicide attempt, alpha said this was better for her. I believed him.

He only wanted what's best for me. He was going to walk me to Cameron's car today but that was it. He wouldn't be coming with us, and that scared me. I had never been anywhere other then my house and the pack house, and today, I was completely leaving the territory. I had never so much as go near the borders let alone cross them. Butterflies formed in my stomach at the thought. Maybe I could convince him to let me stay. But I knew, in the end, it'd be better for me to go.

I'd be away from my father, I'd be away from Christopher, I'd be away from the kids at school, but worst of all, I'd be away from him. He was my second father, he was my only reason to sanity at this point. I didn't know how I'd be able to live without him. He took away my wolf, now he's making me leave. I wont have any one to rely on. I wont have a rock nor a friend at the new territory. I hadn't seen Cameron or Daniel in the last ten years, and he expected me to go to their territory and live with them like I hadn't gone a day in my life without them.

I didn't understand how he was being so calm about this, I knew that he had done this before. Maybe he just had that much practice with his emotions. He was the alpha after all, he could only be the way he was with his emotions to certain people, his family and maybe close friends other then that he had to be tough, he had to be stubborn, he couldn't let his emotions be shown as a weakness or else the pack would fall apart. But that wasn't the alpha that I knew, the alpha that I knew was silly and loving and funny. He was the best friend I never had. But the biggest thing I was glad about, was that, I was getting away from my father. The last few days the knowledge that he was still here, in the same house that I was in was making me feel on edge.

That he could come up here at any moment and take out his anger on me. Alpha had assured me that he was weak. That he couldn't stand on his own let alone get through a silver door. He even offered to take me down there, but I quickly rejected not wanting to be any closer to him then I already was. I hated the fact that everyone knows now. The kids would just use this against me. Like they didn't already have enough to use against me.