The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.
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SASURA
"Where are you from?" I asked a little butterfly that landed in my finger.
It's so beautiful. Its pinkish color was very uplifting. I don't really like the color pink but the color just fits the butterfly perfectly. Too sad I have to let it go.
"You can go now." I lifted my hand, letting the little guy go.
Even for just a little while that butterfly made me smile. Even just a little. But I know, I didn't fake that smile. That was real. That butterfly has this effect on me. Like it brings joy to everyone.
Kalvery Academy, the place where my joy fades away in an instant. Tiisin mo nalang, Sasura. Makakaalis ka din dito. You just have to work hard and forget about Arika. I can take the pain as long as I can graduate.. Become a director after. That's all I want.
Again, I went to stroll around the school. But this time I went to the garden. The garden is really beautiful. It had lots of flowers in it. And there's even a treehouse with the tire-swing thingy. We are not allowed to pick the flowers so I just took a picture of it.
As I walked through the hallways, they were looking at me. Of course, it was because of Kai being with me. Guess they haven't move on from it yet. I just shrugged it off and went to the classroom.
After a few minutes Jiama entered already and started discussing. She was discussing about music. Like what music should you use when making a music video. And which part of the body is very nice to take.
"The eyes. Eyes are very captivating. Like you could see their/your beauty when you look through it. Like..." She started roaming her eyes and it landed on me.
"Like Sasura's eyes. Her eyes are very cold. But it's also very fierce. You can't find those eyes nowadays. It's very beautiful. Let me guess. You can't read her eyes, can't you?" My eyes?
I'm aware of my eyes being cold. I mean, people tell me that and it's already like a compliment for me. But fierce? My eyes are fierce?
"You, Vash. Look into her eyes."
"W-what? Why does he have to look into my eyes?" I asked out of curiosity and looking away.
"I'll just ask him some questions. So look at him." She demanded
I had no choice but to also look at Vash. He was really looking into my eyes. Like reading it.
"Now, can you tell what her eyes are saying?"
"No. I can't. Her eyes is very... Very strong. It won't even give you a hint." He said as he looked at Jiama.
"But her eyes are very beautiful. I could stare at it all day." That made my cheeks turn crimson red.
"I was asking you to read her eyes. Not give her a hint that you like her." My classmates started laughing.
While Vash just scratched the back of his head and looked away. While me? I also looked away. I didn't know it would be that awkward. She moved on with her lesson. And she said she would give us a project so we better listen.
"Okay, I want you to make a music video. You'll do it by two's."
WHAT?! I could do it by myself! Jiama. I'll seriously kill you when you go to our house. I don't want it to be by two's! I'm being anxious already.
"Kai and Sasura you'll be partners."
"What?!" Oh God, did I just scream?
"Okay, choose. Kai or Vash?" She asked teasingly, which I stare daggers at her.
They started teasing me with Vash. I was like, WTF? I don't like him. I barely even know him for goodness sake! And Kai, I'm still avoiding him. So I guess I better choose Vash. After all, this is just a project. Nothing more.
"I'll be her partner/ I choose Vash." Me and Kai said.
Our classmates reacted. Of course, him, wanting me to be his partner. And me, wanting Vash to be my partner. I'm just being careful okay? And Arika already warned me to stay away from Kai. And I think I should obey that.
"Sasura?" Jiama looked at me, asking me who I want to be paired with.
"Vash. He'll be my partner." Then Arika stood up looking at us.
"I'll be Kai's partner, Ma'am."
I guess that solved our problem. But it was still awkward for me though. I can't believe that happened. All because of my eyes. Being cold and at the same time fierce. Does it really look like that? I guess I better look at it later.
-
I'm already eating lunch and it's very awkward. I'm eating with Vash. He said he wants to talk about the project we're going to do. We have one week to do it. Since the teachers are going somewhere also for one week, it means we don't have classes.
Neither of us is speaking. I'm just roaming my eyes while eating a burger. I took my phone out and sighed as I saw his name again. I wanted to hear his voice but Vash is here.
He won't hear. My inner voice said so I just dialed his number.
When I heard his voice I smiled sadly. Why do I hurt myself? Why do I still call him when I know it would just hurt me?
"What's wrong?" Vash looked at me.
"Nothing."
"You look sad. Is everything fine?"
My mind is lost. My heart is broken. And my sanity is raging and burning into ashes. This sadness feels like it's going to kill me in an instant.
"Yes. Thank you for asking." He just smiled at me.
"So, are we gonna start shooting tomorrow?" He asked.
"Hm, it's fine. Where will we meet?"
"At your house? I could just pick you up."
Nakakahiya naman. Pero baka kasi makipag-kita siya sakin sa lugar na hindi ko alam. Mas lalong nakakahiya naman yun. Mall lang ata alam kong puntahan eh. Hindi naman kasi ako nalabas ng bahay.
"O-okay. I'll give you my address." He handed his phone to me. I looked at his hand curiously.
"So I could contact you." I just nodded and I started typing my number.
"Could I ask you some questions? I mean, if it's okay with you."
"Why? What do you want to know?"
"Its just that you don't speak during classes or break time. I mean, literally not talking. So I just wanted to know you. Aside from me knowing your name." I just signaled him to go ahead.
"Why are you so quiet?"
"I don't need to say something." He just nodded and started asking questions again.
"Is it nice there in the Philippines?"
"H-How'd you know I'm from that country?"
"Kai told me. And yeah, speaking of Kai. Is it true?"
"Yes. But he just helped me. B-Because..."
Am I going to tell him that he saw me crying? What if he asks why I was crying? This is a bad idea.
"Because he saw me crying."
