Shadow (TWD Carl)

~Chapter 11~

I push my back to the wall, sliding down it as I fill my heart with regret.

What if Michonne was Kira? Would you ask for the same thing? Why did you do it? Risking someone's life will just risk your own.

My head started to ache after a while. I continued to be Miss Depressed and put my head between my knees. I probably looked weak if anybody was watching me but I couldn't let go of the feeling that I'm a risk to everyone here.

"Shadow?" I heard someone call. I look up to see Carl with his hat shading most of his features. I look back to the ground with no emotion.

"Leave me alone."

"Shadow what's wrong? Your hands are bleeding and it looks like your soul has left you for dead."

"It's nothing. Just leave me alone."

"I left someone once before and my best friend died because I did.  Now I'm not gonna let that happen to you."

"I'm not you're problem." I snap and glare at him. He sighs and sits down in front of me. We stare at each other for God knows how long, not breaking eye contact once.

"Look, I know you're trying to be all tough and hide your emotions, but you're allowed to show those emotions here."

"I can't. I have to be strong. For Ethan. For Kira. For Jack. For myself. I'll look weak if I show how I feel." I sigh and look back to the ground, only to realise it was hiding underneath Carl. I didn't want to make it seem awkward so I looked back up and stared at the wall behind him.

How can he be so nice at a time like this? I almost killed someone.

"If you don't want to cry in front of your family, you can always cry in front of me, I don't judge. Hell I've seen my dad cry not too long ago and still think he's the second toughest guy here." I laugh.

"Oh really? Then whose the toughest?"

"Me!" He smiles and laughs. I join not too long after, realising how self-centred he made himself sound.

"Ya know, I kind of expected Daryl. But instead you proved to me how egotistical you are." I remark.

"Hey! I am not self-centred!"

"You keep telling yourself that sweetheart."

"Rick!" We heard Hershel yell. We both turn our heads towards their direction to see Hershel hobbling over to the fence. "Rick!" He tried to get the dad's attention again. The said man slowly appears from behind the trees. Their voices were kept to a minimum volume for the rest of the conversation and I couldn't catch what they were saying.

"Come on, let's get back to the others." Carl says while getting up from his position. I nod and stand up myself, brushing off any dirt that stuck to my clothes. "We should also get your hands cleaned up when Hershel is finished. Check for any cuts and make sure they aren't infected." He grabs my hand and practically drags me over to the others. I try to slip my hand away but his grip was too strong. Beth notices us and smiles. I return it and I see Axel walking out of the prison, his destination being Carol. The three of us, Carl, Beth and I just listen to their conversation while we wait for Hershel and Rick. At this point I had completely forgotten about the pain in my arm and Carl who was still holding my hand.

"Stress getting to your man Rick?" Axel interrogates.

"Can you blame him?" Carol asks in response.

"No. Not at all. In here I've seen plenty of dudes crack. But not me. I got on better on the inside. Things made more sense, you know? There were rules. Life was more simple."

"Didn't you miss your brother?"

"My brother? Hell, no. He had a real money problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"He didn't lend me any." He pauses and laughs with Carol and the rest of us before continuing. "One time that son of a bitch--" A bullet came out of nowhere, planting itself into Axel's head, killing him instantly. Complete and utter shock was written on all of our faces.

I look around the prison searching for the source of the shooting as I'm being dragged to safety by Carl and Beth. We hide behind a wall and Carl starts shooting. I find the person who was shooting at us, my eyes widening at the sight of him.

The Governor.

My jaw tightens in irritation and I'm baring my teeth towards him.

"Beth, Shadow! Here." I turn around to have a gun shoved in my face. I grab it and send a thank you to Maggie who passed it to me. The gunfire continues as I aim the gun to a guy shooting from a guard tower. Carl, Beth, Maggie and I shoot at him, trying our best to kill him. He was finally shot by Maggie and he falls over the railings. His body hits the ground and I continue to shoot, this time aiming at my father.

"Carol, go!" Maggie yelled and the said women came running over to us, people firing at her from various directions. She managed to dodge them all and reached our hiding spot.

As I'm shooting at the Governor, he turns his attention onto someone else who I recognized as Michonne. I stop shooting and stare at her, concern and fear filling my body.

"Michonne! Run! We'll cover you, just run!" Maggie yells. She looks over to me but doesn't do a thing. I growl in frustration and hold my gun up again to aim at my father.

I know you don't trust me right now but I wish you could just get over it you stubborn woman.

After a few more minutes of exchanging bullets, we all ceased fire. I didn't know what was happening but I could hear a vehicle getting closer. We all watched as an orange and white van drove straight through the prison gates and into the fields of the prison. All was silent until a ramp from the van was unlocked from the back, falling to the ground. Multiple walkers exited the vehicle and made their way onto the fields, claiming it as their own. A guy in a black, bullet proof suit jumps out of the van and starts shooting at Michonne. She manages to dodge the bullets and made her way round to the other side of the bus she was hiding behind.

"Go, Hershel. Get the hell out of there!" Rick yelled from outside the fence. Hershel was lying in the field where all the walkers were, trying to hide the best he could.

Everyone stops shooting as we watch the walkers spread out around the prison grounds. I chuck the gun down, noticing that my father had fled with his soldiers. I take my karambit knife out of my boot and run through the gate separating me from the field. I heard someone come running after me but they stopped, probably realizing that I'm not going to listen.

I advance on every walker trying to get my attention, striking their forehead each time. I ran towards Michonne who was slicing the walkers, trying to reach me.

"I'm going to help Hershel." I claim.

"No, get back inside now!"

"Only when I know you and everyone else is safe." I push her towards the prison and continue bombarding walkers until I reach Hershel. I help him stand up and we start walking back to the prison. I heard another car pulling up into the prison. Inside the car was a worrisome Glenn.

He stops in front of Hershel and I, getting out to help Hershel in.  I thought about clearing the field a bit more but the walkers were starting to surround us and I instantly got in after Hershel. Glenn enters the car and drives till we were through the next set of prison gates.

When we got to a safe area, we got out of the car. I stared at the damage that was dealt to the prison while everyone else was hugging and comforting each other.

This is all my fault. I should never have left Woodbury. I'm so selfish. I didn't even think once about what my father would do to this place. These people. I'm such an idiot.