Shadow (TWD Carl)

~Chapter 31~

I didn't sleep well last night. Although Judith was keeping a few of us up, it was last night's elimination of the Terminus group that kept my thoughts rolling. Why did I do that? I'm not me. I was in on that man-slaughter. But is it even man-slaughter anymore? Are there any rules? Laws? I don't want to be like this. I can't put Kira and Jack through sights like that. But what if it's the only thing we can do to survive? I can't do this. I don't know what to do.

"Shadow? You awake?" I turn my head slightly to see Sasha kneeling down next to me. I make a small noise to tell her I am. "Bob wants you."

I sit up and stretch a little to loosen up. "Okay," I look back to her and only just realise how tired and worried she looked. She must be staying with Bob a lot and not getting enough rest. "I'll visit Bob, but I'm also going to watch him for a while. You look like you need som-"

"No, no. I'm fine. I can stay up for hours if it means I can spend those hours with Bob." She weakly smiled at me but I wasn't buying it.

"I'm not going to see Bob, unless you decide to have a rest, even if it is for 5 minutes. Just relax for a while." It took her a few minutes to debate on whether or not to agree with me but we finally switched places.

I walk down the church aisle, trying not to step on anyone or anything that would make a lot of noise. I make my way to the back room and see Bob lounging quietly on the bed. When I entered, he jumped a little and seemed quite nervous. "Hey Bob, you alright?"

"If alright means alive, then yeah. I'm alright." He gave me a small chuckle.

"Sasha told me you wanted to see me, what is it?" I take my place at the end of his bed and try not to put too much pressure down on it.

"Yeah, uh, I should have told you the night I returned but I thought it was a rather personal thing. You remember Ethan, right?"

"Of course I do, he was part of my group befo-"

"It doesn't matter what he was before. Look...Ethan isn't the same person. He is much less ...stable."

"You've seen him?! Where?! I need to know!" Ethan's alive. He's alive. I can finally breath knowing he is too.

"Quiet down unless you want the whole forest to know. Now, when I was taken by the Terminus group, I recognised someone that I thought looked especially out of place. There came a point in time where I got a glimpse of their face and well....it was Ethan. But I need you to listen to me very carefully. Do not go after him. It won't do anyone any good. He isn't the Ethan we knew, it's better to stay away and stay safe."

"I can't leave him Bob, he's my family. Leaving him will be like me killing my paren- ... forget it." I stand up and walk to the corner of the room where a chair was. I chose to switch spots to there because I felt my anger build up and didn't want to hurt anyone. How could he say this? To one of us? To my family?

"Shadow. I know you aren't impressed with what I'm saying, but you need to believe me. If it's one thing in this world that I want right now, it's that you and the rest of the group won't go looking for trouble and will stay safe."

"That's a problem, 'cause it seems like trouble looks for us and not the other way around."

"Please, just try. Don't become reckless and end up like me." I tilt my head slightly to see his face and I can see the small frown etched on his lips.

"I promise I'll try...We'll try. But it's the best I can do."

"You know, I've never met someone younger than 21 who acts as mature as you. If I had a child, I'd be the most proudest father in the galaxy if she turned out just like you. You've taken on so many tasks, made so many promises and yet, still managed to take care of the only family you have left. You must be one of the best choices Rick's made throughout this risky journey."