Poems of the strange

Missing you.

I wish I was as ok as I pretend to be
With out you here with me
And I know everyone sees these scars
That's why I spit these bars
And keep chasing speed in these cars
Acting like I'm king of everything
I can't even make your smile gleam
Who the fuck am I kidding
You were my kitten
I had a purpose
Without you I'm worthluss
Who the fuck am I
To think I can cry
It's so much easier to do a drive by
then it is to let you go and watch us die
and I think that's why some days are better then most
and other times I'm like a host
to my depression
and 9/10 I'm stressing
every morning while I'm dressing.
It's like all I want is to see you and be In love
Now your free like a dove
And I'm still hear making you the one I dream of
I'm pathetic and sweet
And I can't take this heat
Not again my friend I can't go back to the street
No more Runnin drugs
And gun slugs
You were my release
The drain
for my pain
God how I miss that leash
Sheesh
I used to say I felt like a dog
But now my lungs fill with smog
Without the pull of my collar
And you waving me back with a holler
Who needs to be a baller
I had you.
Hind sight is 20/20
And now I lost my bunny
You don't love me anymore that's true
Were threw.
I'm conflicted
Restricted
Constructed
Everything I do
Is wrong to you
And now I think I'm Too far gone
All I'm good for is being wrong
Now it's me you look threw
I don't know you.
I don't know me
And I just wish I could see
How this all turns out cuz right now I'm a damn tea pot short and stout
bout to blow my mother fucking brains out
My judgment you clout
Your all I dream about.
I scream and I shout
But dear god the memory of you it don't come out.
So I can't do this I'm out
I won't be another thing for you to complain about