Bad Habit

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Kumunot ang noo ko.

I harshly closed the notebook. My notebook.

Nagulat naman si Salazar sa ginawa ko.

Umaapoy na ang galit ko sa sistema ko. Why the hell would he even get my things? First, hanky ko.

And God knows what he did to it before he even returned it two nights before!

Ngayon, notebook ko na naman?!

Whatever he's trying to do, or imply, if he's trying to give me the impression that he can touch my things while I'm under his guard, then fuck! I want out.

Tumayo ako.

Napatingala naman silang lahat sa akin.

"Saan ka?" Tanong ni Kristine, na pinandidilatan pa ako. Lalo na nung tumayo na rin si Salazar dahil sa akin.

If they want more time with him, then they can have him! I don't want him!

"Banyo lang." Excuse ko.

Umalis na ako kaagad.

Nang nakalabas na ako sa library ay lumingon ako kaagad, dahil alam ko at naramdaman kong sumunod ni Salazar sa akin.

He raised his hands in the air nung napuna niya ang galit ko.

"I can explain."

"Bakit ba kinukuha mo ang mga gamit ko?" Madiin kong tanong.

Lumayo ako sa banda ng pintuan para bigyan ng daan ang mga batchmates kong papasok. Pabalik-balik ang mga tingin nila sa amin ni Salazar.

What do we look like? Maybe we look like a couple arguing in the school's hallway.

Umiling siya.

"I did not. Nakapatong yung notebook na yan sa armchair mo. I got it, and I asked for help. Because you're--we're, having a quiz sa chem. I've never balanced equations yet. They said you are smart--"

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. I'm losing this argument. Oo nga, nasa armchair ko nga pala ito.

But still!

"And the hanky?"

Umiling na naman siyang muli.

"It's our role as a bodyguard to inspect--"

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata.

"What would you even expect from a school bag?! A bomb? And why would I even do that?!"

"No, not you, okay. But the people around you. Hindi lahat mapagkakatiwalaan. Mina, can you just chill? Kalma lang. I can see your tears.."

Inabot niya ang pisngi ko at papawiin na sana ang luhang umaamba nang mahulog galing sa mata ko, but I shoved it away.

Kapag talaga naiinis ako, ay napapaluha ako. It's because of the overflowing emotions building up inside me. I can feel the igniting flames licking my patience, na tila ginigiba niya ito't ginagawang abo.

Kaya't I placed myself into the debate club. I need to practice myself to be strong. To control my temper in times full of pressure.

Because I want to be a lawyer. I will be a defender, ang pagkakatiwalaan sa balanse ng hustisya.

How can I be a protector kung iyakin ako? Tears is a sign of cowardice, lalo na kapag galit ang namumuno rito. It will only be a figment of strength kapag acceptance na ang umaalab sa apoy nito.