Shallow Love

where was u?

cidney's pov

i did it. abortion.

it was weeks ago but i thought i'd say it.

jack said it would just become too much for the both of us. i'll put out that he also has been "working" over at someones for the past 3 days.

he won't tell me who this someone is though.

i don't understand him at all. if he loves and wants me so much, why does he stay gone?

he's almost never around me. i understand that he needs to work, but i know damn well he isn't always working like that.

he's doing something else (something wrong) and doesn't want me to know.

currently i'm just sitting at a restaurant waiting for jack to show up.

yes. i am thinking deeply at a restaurant. don't think about judging me cause you know my story.

i sighed changing my view towards the door.

there he is.

he wore a plain white t-shirt, ripped jeans, and high top black vans. cute.

with a huff he sat down.

my feelings are so confused. i'm glad to see him, but i'm also mad at him.

"how's work going?," i asked raising my brow.

he looked at me annoyed, "are you mad? i'm getting tired of you accusing me of things. i said i'm working cidney, why can't you just believe me?"

i eyed him, "maybe because you seem not to have a good representation at "work" in the past with me."

he rolled his eyes at me. really? i should've told him he's had just a perfect record in the relationship.

"what are you talking about?"

what is up witth him lately? we never ever fight like this! ever since i had gotten pregnant, he's just been antsy with me. arguing about everything.

"nothing jack. you've been perfect with everything."

he sighed and closed his eyes.

"i don't want to tell you this isn't working out, but i feel like it is."

i don't want to say i did..again..but i rolled my eyes...again.

how many times in the last month have i heard that from him? many.

"i don't understand jack. what the hell do you want? me or the girl you've been fucking?"

he squinted his eyes, "i haven't been fucking anyone but you."

"oh that has to be a lie!"

he shook his head looking away.

is he being real? he seems mad. really mad. at me.

"look. i told you the truth. i haven't touched any girl but a fan any time. the only girl i've done anything like that with has been you."

he reached over and pulled my hands onto the table with his.

"do you believe me?"

with a sigh i nodded, "i'm so used to you lying about stuff like this. it's my only instinct. i'm sorry."

his thumb made circles on my hand. "don't be sorry baby. it's my fault that you worry about it."

i feel so bipolar forgiving him. he's bipolar with his attitude with me.

"what is this?," asked looking deeply into his eyes.

"what do you mean? i love you. do you not love me?"

letting go of one of his hands i rubbed my eye brushing tears away. "i just..i don't know. it seems like when you have me you don't care about me. but the second we're done you want me badly."

he licked his lips, "it's one of the cases of you don't know what you have until it's gone. i've been taking you for granted much too long. cidney i haven't been working. i've been in counseling. i haven't told anyone this before, not even johnson."

i nodded becoming worried.

"can we go back home for this?"

"of course jack."

**********

laying on the couch in pajamas he held my waist and pulled me ontop of him.

"ok listen. i never wanted to tell anyone this. please, please don't leave me baby." tears formed in his eyes.

"i'm not leaving you," i cupped his cheek with my hands.

i layed my head onto his chest to comfort him.

"ok.. i-uhm. bipolar."

before i could respond he pushed me off of him and ran upstairs. "jack!!"

he shut and locked the door denying my access. "jack. what's wrong now? you told me. and i need to tell you something also."

with that he cane out of the room with red nlothed cheeks and scattered tears.

"what?"

i looked down nervous. i don't want to tell him this at all.

"i'm-"

---+---
yeah i cliffhung you.

(btw she's not telling him she's not having his kid. it's something else.)

STAY CLOUDY!-
☁️