Remember

Chapter 8: Preparing for the Ball

Hello everyone! Here is the next update and I hope that you enjoy it. Just a fair warning, as summer begins to wind down my schedule becomes more hectic and I may not be able to update as consistently. I will do my best to nonetheless. Please read, vote, comment, and enjoy!

For the past couple of months, my life has fallen into a routine. My mornings were spent in silence as Olivia and I walked on eggshells around each other, neither of us explaining the web of lies that had ensnared us. I had spent my days in classes, keeping my head down and my grades up. My evenings were spent in the library or another neutral location with Janus researching for our midterm. My nights were spent in a restless sleep, occasionally plagued by my nightmares, but not nearly as often as before.

The department ball was tonight and I was freaking out. We had finished our research and turned in the paper but we still had to get dressed for the ball and practice our skit. Janus had said to leave that part to him, he would handle. At the time it had seemed like a good idea, but as I stood impatiently outside of his dorm room I was regretting my decision.

When I knocked on the door I heard Janus's voice echo out into the hall. "The door's unlocked! Come on in!"

With a deep breath I opened up the door and walked into a seemingly empty room. I allowed my gaze to travel across the room, noting how neat and sparsely decorated the room was. Everything seemed to be in place, everything except for one notebook that was lying on top of one of the beds. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided to take a peak. After a few months of working together, I recognized the handwriting in it as Janus's.

The beginning contained his research on Janus. I allowed myself to quickly glance through it, a few stars caught my gaze and directed it to an underlined name, Ianua. Something about the name struck me as odd but I could not place what exactly. As I continued to flip through the notebook I came across a series of sketches, all labeled Asteria. There I was at the forefront of a group of wolves, I was standing in the place of King Lyceon as he received his curse, I was alone looking in the mirror, my reflection was a wolf, I was standing across from Janus as we had mirroring looks of longing and love.

Lastly was me in a simple black long sleeved dress covered in a pattern of stars, the sleeves were made of a black lace. It also included a hood and cloak that hid my face in the shadows, only my braided hair was showing. I heard a shuffling noise and quickly tossed the notebook back onto the bed before turning towards the noise as my mind was reeling.

My body relaxed when I saw that it was Janus but my mind continued to reel. "So what do you think?" He asked me nervously as he held up the dress that I had just seen in his drawings.

I allowed my eyes to take in the dress, moving slowly towards him and it. "It's beautiful," I whispered as I reached out to touch the material.

He let out a small sigh and a slow smile graced his lips, softening his features. "I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure you would." He admitted as he studied my shocked expression.

"Did you design this?" I asked curiously, my mind thinking of the drawing that I had just seen.

He looked away, a slight blush creeping onto his usually collected face. "Yes, I drew up a design but an old friend was the one who actually created it." He admitted to me. "Anyway, you need to get dressed." He handed me the dress and carefully directed me to the bathroom as he attempted to regain his composure. "Let me know if you need any help." He called out over his shoulder as I slipped into the bathroom. Unable to form words I just nodded to him.

As I slipped into the dress I was amazed by how perfectly it fit me, hugging my every curve. I was also frustrated because it was a zip in the back dress, and I could not zip it myself. Finally, I gave up, I peeked my head out of the bathroom door. "Janus?" I called softly as I internally kicked myself for having to resort to such drastic measures to get into the dress.

He popped his head out from around the corner, stepping out from the kitchen area in a suit. He wasn't wearing a blazer yet but he had on a crisp white shirt and a loose tie. I took a deep breath as I tried to rein in my runaway mind. A small smirk grew on his face and his tone turned teasing. "Need help?"

Too embarrassed to speak I just nodded and turned around, exposing the zipper that I desperately needed zipped. I heard him suck in a deep breath as he slowly began to step towards me. I could feel my traitorous pulse jumping at being this close to him. I was beginning to slow it down when the tips of his fingers just barely grazed the back of my neck as he moved my hair out of his way. As the tingling sensation coupled with the teasing of his warm breath on my neck, I felt goosebumps forming on my skin.

From my shoulder, his one hand trailed a path down my side before coming to a rest on my hip. Every touch of his sent electrical sparks tingling through my body, causing me to close my eyes in pleasure. As his other hand slowly began to pull my zipper up I could feel his pulse racing and hear his unsettled breathing. By the time he had finished my zipper I felt like I was a puddle of pleasure, and he was my undoing. "Perfect." He whispered to me huskily as his hand grazed the chain of my amulet.

I felt my breath catch in my throat. I knew that I should not turn around if I wanted to keep him from thinking that there was any chance, but I couldn't help myself. I felt myself turn around slowly, meeting his gaze. I was floored by the amount of love and hope that filled his gold-flecked eyes but I knew that I could never be with him, I couldn't trust him.

"You were the one watching her sleep and following her last night!"

"She is mine! Mine and only mine! Just like..."

I felt him step towards me, tilting his head to meet mine. I quickly intervened, sidestepping slightly as I moved my hands to tighten and straighten his tie. "Thanks for the help," I told him, completely ignoring the cues that he was giving me and in doing so I felt as if my heart was tearing itself into two. I had managed to school my expression to hide my true emotions.

He was not nearly as prepared, I saw the love in his expression change to heartbreak while the hope was driven out by pain. I knew that he would hurt now but it would save us the heartbreak down the road. He gave me a curt nod as if not trusting his voice before he turned and quickly made his way back to the kitchen to finish getting dressed before we left. I let out a shaky breath before leaning over the sink, closing my eyes to stop the tears that threatened to cascade down my face and show how I truly felt, even if I would not admit it to myself.