Wake me up. Dan X reader

The grey sea of anxiety

(Three days later)

You've lost track of time now.

Hours are seconds on the abyss that has become of your thoughts. Your body is home to the physical pain of heartbreak things like; nausea, head aches, panic attacks, dizziness and hunger.

Your mind is a maze of lost, distant memories that you keep turning over like flipping a coin: there are two sides to each memory, positive moments and the sudden realisation that that time has past.

Every day Phil has knocked on your door or called you, the sound of your phone humming is driving you insane. All these people who want to help you, all these humans sinking in the grey sea of your anxiety. As they all drown one by one, only two are left. Dan and Phil.

You see messages from Phil, Zoe, Joe, Caspar, Louise and Marcus all wishing you well and asking of your health. You want to tell them that you're okay but you can't lie. If you told them, they'd worry and want to 'save' you.

Only one thing can save you, it's not an option, yet... You're not that far gone into the grey sea. You're still afloat and buoyant because of Dan, your memories of him, the emotions you felt with him.

You have to be alone now...

*Dan's POV*

Y/N wouldn't just kiss Phil, he might kiss her. But I just cannot accept that we're over.

There was no shouting or arguments, she just stepped away. She said something came over her... She can't be with someone she doesn't love... THIS IS WRONG! The way she looked at me, the way she spoke to me, the way she touched me, the way she kissed me. There was so much passion and affection in all that she did. When I come into her mind you can see her swoon!

I need to see her.

Phil seems angry at me, if anything I should be mad at him. He kissed her, I don't think she wanted him to but he did. It hadn't sink in yet.

Phil kissed her against her will.

She might have said no.

He might have made her.

Now it's sunk in!

I storm over to Phil's door and pound upon it with enough force to shake the walls.

He pulls it open and let it swing around and hit the wall behind it.

"Oh what do you want Dan?" He said sounding smug as fuck.

I grab his collar and push him against the wall.

"I want to know why you kissed my girlfriend!" I yelled.

"Girlfriend!" He laughed.

I shake him and his head bangs against the wall.

"WHY DID YOU KISS HER?!" I scream.

"I've told you I love her!" He retorted.

"That's not the point, she was my girlfriend. If she was yours and I loved her..." I trailed off.

"GO ON, SAY IT!" He yelled.

"I'd let her go..." I murmured. Slowly my grip loosened and my hands slid down his body and swung to my sides.

Phil sent a fist hurling towards my face, it hit my cheek and forced my backwards.

I looked up at him stunned. I came back with another punch. His nose was purple and bloody.

We struggled for a while, smashing each others body against walls, doors and furniture. Bruises, scratches, blood.

For the first time in seven years me and Phil hurt each other. We didn't hold back, punching, kicking, scratching and biting until we collapsed in heaps on the sofa.

We looked over at each other like criminals with grudges glaring at one another through prison bars.

He was covered in blood and I was back and blue.

My head was throbbing and my body was in excruciating pain from my arms to my legs.

I felt blood pour down the inside of my sleeve sliding down my elbow and reaching my wrist.

I love Y/N so fucking much.

"You know Dan, you haven't mellowed at all have you." Phil said between breaths.

"Neither have you, I hope you know that this was neutral. We fought each other, I didn't fight you. I still love her. I hope she loves me." I say quietly.

"Remember Dan, if she loves me you will let her go. I love her too." He pointed out.

I reluctantly nodded and shook his hand. I wasn't worried at all. We loved each other, Y/N and I.

*Narrator*

You curl up on your floor and sob.

You heard them fighting, this is what you didn't want. What you were trying to prevent. It's all your fault.

(two weeks later)

You are still in your apartment.

Buying food is no issue for now, you only eat when you have to.

You click through Netflix but every thing on there reminds you of Dan.

You feel sick to your stomach when you look at the door. You run to your room and lock the door again.

You sob against the door when you hear a faint knocking at the wall.

Three taps. 'i love you'

It's been three weeks since Phil kissed you.

Every now and then you hear Dan and Phil arguing or fighting. It hurts you too...