Wake me up. Dan X reader

The lover's guide to loss and desperation

I am not worthless, though that is all I tell people I am. That's all that comes through. I have no right to cry, these are illegal tears. These sobs are not mine to cry. Though I still do.

She has no hold over me anymore, so why are her claws in me so deep.

Her eyes are still burned into mine, I see her when I close them. She haunts my sleep. Her kisses are cold on my lips. In the mirror I see her standing next to me, hand on my shoulder. Lingering like a shadow.

It's a sick twisted version of my deepest fantasies. To be loved properly, it never felt right.

Never has love ever felt real.

I need a guide book.

Instructions.

Help.

How can I learn how to love.

I have been thinking.

If you need to learn how to love someone, it's not love.

Love should be natural, it should take over.

You can't learn how.

You can't force feelings.

You don't learn to love somebody.

You just love them...

I've never loved anyone, except Dan and Y/N, but in a different way to romantic love.

I've never been held or kissed, I've never been embraced or swooned over by someone I love.

I won't start looking.

I never have, I will accept my loneliness and focus on the future. Ironically now that I've decided to move on, I bet some mystical force will provide me with my soulmate. How cliché!

I doubt that will ever happen, if it does I will eat a spork. (I use the word spork a lot)

(End of the Phil bit for now: I know super short part Mollie LAME!)

What do y'all think about this lil first person, character thingy. I may have to do it again in the future for the story line. I will get back on schedule soon, I'm going through some shit rn. Next part will be your pov again, I know it's a Dan X reader so where de Dan X reader shit den!? Soz, as I said y'all find out what's going on soon.

I very excite!

Ttyl, stay squishy and I'll see you online!