Wake me up. Dan X reader

We can lie.

It's the tenth of April.

Five months since you first met Dan Howell in person. You feel as though it had been much longer. All those years staring at an awkward young boy through a computer screen, you never expected to discover that all those years ago, he was staring back...

Seven years.

Not five months, you've known each other for all of seven years. Nothing can change your feelings now. All that you've been through together, it sounds cliché but it has made you stronger and closer.

Dan has been by your side through: Pain, depression, suffering, anxiety, break downs, heart break and death. You won't say you've only known him for five months.

You're getting married next year, the start of your life together.

It seems that Dan has always been one step ahead of you, knowing that he needed you and you needed him. Leaving him was a mistake, he knew that and kept fighting for you. Despite everything he is still fighting for you. Always...

Today however, none of this is on your mind.

There's a grey haze in your eye, the world looks bleak and monochrome.

A black mist of depression seeps into your train of thought.

Here we are again.

No real reason to feel this way.

Your selfish ability to turn the spot light your way.

To turn all the attention onto you.

Don't let them know, hide it, don't ruin this...

*Dan's POV*

I feel the hot steaming water pelt down upon my skin. I see my face in the mirror, I hear the faint sound of crying enacting from the bedroom.

Rushing out of the shower I wrap myself in a towel and open the door. It's Y/N, she has a razor blade in her trembling fingers. She drops in and buries her head in her hands. I sit beside her and rub her back.

"Y/N, I'm here. I've promised I will be always. I love you." I whisper.

She throws her arms around my waist and I pull her into a hug. My arm around her shoulders rubbing her arm. I examine her arms. A few cuts on each wrist, not too deep but bleeding.

"Hang on, let my help you.", I stand.

I go to the bath room and tear off some tissue paper. I pat down her arms to stop the bleeding.

She winces slightly, "Sorry." I say.

"No, I'm sorry for doing this." She says between sobs.

"Y/N, don't feel like you're to blame! I don't mind, I would help you with anything. You can tell my anything you know. I'm here, so's Phil and the others. We all love you Y/N." I say patting her arm.

I fumble around in the hotel medicine cabinet for a bandage.

Wrapping it around her arm she smiles at me and kisses my head.

I look up and kiss her back.

We stand up and I hold her hand, she is practically pulling my arm off but I don't care. Her grip on my hand is strong, as if I'm keeping her from falling off a cliff. Honestly I could hold her hand forever.

We walk.

Through the people.

Not a care.

She's getting stares.

So am I.

They look at her arm.

They point.

They talk.

We don't care.

We just ignore their murmurs.

They are non-existent.

We just walk.

Not a care in the world.

We'd be lying if we told anyone we were okay, but we can paint on a fake smile and laugh at their jokes. We can pretend to be strong but cry behind the closed doors of our minds.

Because inside we can be honest.

With ourselves we can be honest.

And with each other we can be honest.

But with the world,

We can lie...