Save You (Lashton AU)

Chapter 5

(A/N: Trigger warning-ish? I really don't know what is this, I'm sorry. I just, well yeah)

**

Ashton's POV

It's been exactly one week, and I've been doing nothing but mopping around, and crying for seven days straight, not leaving my room (only exiting to shower). Calum and Luke called me five times each the first three days I was in here. Now they decreased to twice a day from each of them. I'm suprised I'm even alive, not have eaten a full meal for seven days, only drinking water. I don't know what exactly happened that day, but something told me he raped me, since my back and bum hurt like hell. I feel so.. used and dirty. I wasn't capable of crying anymore, my eyes were red and puffy. My face was pale like a paper, and my hair was all over the place. To sum it all up, I looked like shit. I completely butchered my arms and legs, because that's my last and only resort. I didn't want to call Calum or Luke, they'll blame Daniel for everything. It was my fault, I practically let him, so technically it wasn't rape. I shouldn't be blaming him, it was my fault.

It's always my fault.

My life wasn't worth anything at this point. I wanted to cut so deep into an important artery so my blood will drain out of my body, and I'll finally be dead. That's what everyone wants anyways. No one cares about me enough to stop me. Calum will be fine without me, he has Michael. Michael and I aren't the closest friends in the world, so he wouldn't care either. Luke; he doesn't even know my last name he won't care. Daniel; maybe he'll be the only one that will awknowledge my dissapearance.

It already felt like I was dead.

If I already feel dead, then why not make it official?

"Ashton?" Calum's voice rung through the room. My head snapped up in confusion. I completely forgotten he has a spare key, but he can't come in here, he doesn't have my room key.

I didn't answer. There was an eerie silence, and I suspected he left, but heard the door knob shaking slightly. "Ashton I know you're in here.. open up please?" No, I'm not. My body is here, but my soul and everything that kept me alive, is gone, and dead.

I'm exaggerating aren't I? Lots of people get assulted, mostly girls. They can handle it, why can't I? I'm a boy for crying out loud, I shouldn't be like this. If they can handle it, so can I right?

"Please. At least say something, to let me know you're alive." He said knocking.

I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I didn't want to see anyone, let alone talk. He couldn't seem to awknowledge that.

"I will knock this door down Ashton, You're scaring me."

If I wanted to do it now, it had to be quick.

"Yeah you do that Ashton, no gives a shit about you anyways." I jumped in surprise and turned around, looked to my left, and looked to my right.

No one.

My heart sped up. I wasn't imagining things, no. The door shook harder and the unknown voice kept telling me to hurry up and go on with it.

"Ashton? Pleas-"

"He's going to come in any minute now, do it"

"Ash!"

"I know how much you've been wanting this, c'mon. The pills are in the drawer, remember?"

"I'll give you 5 seconds to open up, or I'm barging in"

"Get up. Get it. And don't fuck up like last time, remember?"