Save You (Lashton AU)

Chapter 11

Ashton's POV

It's Monday and my apartment was filled with silence. Silence and the occasional noise the book made every time I flipped each page.

I'm usually not awake so early in the morning, especially going through a photo album at this time. I was never one to look back at memories that were somehow captured beneath ink and paper, I just replay them in my mind.

Though today I felt like I had to visit someone who clearly isn't with me anymore. I couldn't exactly go to her resting spot and talk, she's so far away. So I settled with talking to a photo that was taken years ago. From the view of other people, I probably looked crazy muttering words to a damn photograph, but I didn't care, I was alone, afterall.

"Hello mom" I whispered. I paused for a moment, as if I actually thought someone out there was going to respond. But as expected, I got nothing in return.

"I miss you, you know" I sat in the middle of my bed, my legs in criss-cross, holding a picture where my mom was smiling. A soft, innocent smile, like she didn't know what was going to come to her in the future. She looked completely different. The last time I saw her, she was pale, and in a hospital bed, fighting for her life.

I saw the sparkle dissapear from her eyes that day, as the heart monitor went blank. I felt someone tugging on my heart strings at the same moment, just seeing someone die right before your eyes is utterly horrible. Especially some one you were unimaginably close too.

Because of my deep thoughts, I didn't feel the single stray tear falling out of my eye. And when I noticed it, I wiped it off before it can go further down my cheek. I know my mom wouldn't want me crying for her. Not anymore.

"It's been years and I still feel my heart ache at the very thought of you", I set the picture on my lap and used my now free hands to put over my face to try to stop the threatening streams of water from escaping my eyes.

"I have a lot to tell you" I said, once I calmed down a couple minutes later.

"First off; I dropped out of school, I know you'll hate me for that, but it's done" I forced a chuckle, memories of when I was a child, resurfacing in my head. When my mom would yell at me for having one single bad mark on my report cards. She was always a scholar, and would make me work really hard, telling me I'll need the education one day.

Life was so much simpler when you're a kid. I didn't know about responsibilities, or applying for jobs; all those annoying grown up stuff. I didn't know many things, somethings that were small and simple too. I wasn't taught them, I learned mostly everything myself.

Despite that, I continued speaking, "Daniel and I are still together, even if you didn't really accept us" I smiled sadly as the memories replayed in my head, the ones where my mom gave Daniel dirty looks and glares that killed every time I brought him over to our house after school. Something about Daniel irked her, she didn't really know what it was.

"Calum and Mikey are still my friends, even if Mikey and I don't really get along as much as before", I tightened the grip on the photograph and looked up at the sky that was currently covered by a roof, wondering if somewhere out there, she was listening to me.

"I met a wonderful person that you would have liked too" I paused and my face broke into a small smile, "Oh who am I kidding? You would of loved Luke"

"You probably know who that is - " My smile quickly faded away as I whispered," - if you're actually watching over me, like you said you would." I moved my sitting position, my legs getting numb with the weight of my body. I leaned my back on the wall, with my legs extended outwards and freely.