Save You (Lashton AU)

Chapter 13

A/N: The amount of times I cringed while writing this chapter was more than I could count. Good luck.

I didn't go over and edit this chapter, I don't know why but I feel like it was time to update again. 

Another thing, my feelings reflected alot into Ashton's character around the middle so I'm sorry if it's really like stupid (Ashton's super bipolar in this one, just a warning). This chapter is everywhere, partially because so is my mind.

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Ashton's POV

Overreacting is probably something I do from time to time without thinking. 

And bad decisions as well, sadly.

It's been more than a week now that I have last talked or seen Luke. Which, doesn't seem like a whole lot, but to me it is. I've grown to practically get used to his presence, it's hard not to.

I went to the store? He was there to tag along. I sat on the couch, and the seat next to me would sink with the body weight of his. I served two drinks all the time because if I only served one, I would have to go back to the kitchen to get another cause he was lazy to go himself. I had to excuse myself when going to the bathroom or something because someone was there with me. I slept with a corner of the blanket because Luke will hog the whole thing in the middle of the night.

Do people really need to take some chemicals in the form on little droplets or powder to have fun? I don't know how long he's been doing it, but am I really that boring? That he has to take it to have fun with me?

I knew there was something off about him, for all I knew he was completely out of it the day we met because he was weird. It was so obvious. How didn't I know? I thought it was only cigarettes.

It's not that I'm mad at him, I'm disappointed in his decisions. He should know it's something serious and he shouldn't be using it. Yes, it's not my life but.. He is my life.

Speaking of lives; It's been a month or so that I haven't went to visit my boyfriend.

Months ago, I would have never been able to separate from Daniel for more than 2 days, less even. It crazy just how things can change so fast. It's like we somehow drifted apart, yet we have this label on that is attaching and keeping us together. 

A label that I am now growing to hate.

Yet, I didn't want to let him go, I don't want to loose him; or Luke. I'm an idiot and I really need to make up my mind sooner or later.

I just can't let go someone who's been in my life for a long time, I just can't.

I'm afraid for many reasons (when am I not?). What will Daniel do if I break up with him? What if he asks the reason behind breaking up this long relationship? I couldn't say it was because I have caught feelings for someone else. Who knows what he could do to me or Luke. Especially Luke, I wouldn't be able to live if Daniel ever touched him.

Throughout the week all I thought about is what Calum pointed out the other day. I need to visit Daniel, it bugged me that I haven't seen him for a while, neither has he called me. It's a weird thing, coming from someone who was clingy like a piece of gum, that he hasn't made a move to contact me. 

I need to go visit Daniel. Maybe it could be that I miss him so much, I'm thinking I have feelings for another guy instead of the person I'm supposed to be with. Because we're supposed to stay together forever, that's what he promised.