Traveling Vivian

Chapter SixtyFour - To Good To Be True

We were new parents struggling. We didn't know if Nutella needed a changing or if she needed to be fed. When we left her with our neighbors, they said she was the easiest baby to watch. I was so confused when they said this. I didn't understand. One sound coming from Ella's mouth made me so nervous. I didn't understand her and every trip to the doctor's, I asked a million questions trying to improve my parenting. However, they said "I was doing fine" and I don't think that will help a new mother whatsoever. I waited each moment until Calvin came home to help out or if Linlee would take her away from me so I can get a break for once.

Not to mention, I received the worst baby blues ever. Right after Nutella was born, I cried for no reason at all. I sat in my room staring at the new baby inside the cradle. I was so scared that I was going to hurt myself or even her. It only got worse when she cried. I would change her, feed her, and then try to rock her so she could stop. When she didn't, I almost lost my mind. I begged for Linlee to take her away from me. Even though it disrupted Linlee's sleep, Linlee didn't mind watching her. I started to feel a bit of remorse for the baby. I started to think of "what if's" and what would happen if I didn't have her.

School started piling and after Linlee knowing about Phil, Phil refuses to step in the house. I needed socialization and not just from Calvin or the baby, i needed real friends. It all started crumbling when I needed a break from the baby to finish my schoolwork. Calvin was upset that Phil refuses to tutor me and I was also curious. It wasn't something to worry about but I was so curious.and worried about his health.

One day, Calvin went to work as Linlee fed the baby. "I have to call Phil! I need help with all these schoolwork! I can't do it myself! I need to call him!" I yelled.

Linlee nodded and started burping little Ella. "Go ahead. I ain't stopping you. Besides, that asshole needs to see his daughter. She is his right?"

I slowly turned to face little Ella. With one short glance, she was the replicate of Phil from the brown hair all through her chin. "Yeah. He didn't even see her. I am calling him." I yelled.

Linlee nodded and turned to her television. Her beautiful blonde hair and nose speckled with the light.

I should be thankful for a friend like Linlee. She sacrificed her sleep to watch the baby and she was doing everything she can to make sane again. Baby blues was hard for me and it made me do the most outrageous things. I started throwing clothes inside the sink and thought it  was the washer. I left Ella, crying for food when I simply was feeling down. Ella was only a couple weeks old and I was treating her bad. Sometimes I wished Calvin would take a damn vacation to watch his baby but he loved his job.

The phone buzzed four times before I finally got to the other end. "Phil?" I asked.

There was some laughter and then a girl started screaming. Then the noises fade in the background. "Hello?" The voice was deep and raggid like Phil's.

"Phil! It's Vivian!" I yelled.

I felt the eerie silence coming from the other end. There was more silence and no response.

"Hello?" I asked.

There was no response and then the phone automatically flashed a buzzing noise endlessly. I rolled my eyes and threw the phone on the bed. "What the fuck!" I yelled.

Linlee was swinging Ella in the cradle and when I yelled, Ella started crying. I looked at Linlee with wide eyes and apologized, "I'm so sorry!"

Linlee shook her head and picked Ella up. "It's okay. Stop being so annoying."

"What? How can-" I was cut off when I noticed Ella's beautiful brown eyes light up to me. I skidded over to Linlee's side and continued, "Phil hung up on me! That bastard!"