Traveling Vivian

Chapter FortyFour - Goodbye to Life

Traveling Vivian

Part 44

Dean and I rekindled our friendship. With the permission of Catherine, Ana could bring me over and around the town. I went with them to carnivals, circuses, school shopping, and we went to the movies almost every Friday. I was also invited over for dinner. Their house was the biggest house ever. The house was twice as big as Lady’s and Daddy’s house. It had furnished yard and there was fountain in the center of the entrance. The house had three floors. It was really beautiful.

In the carnival outing, we went to the one of the photo booths as Dean grunted. “Dean you don’t like any rides and you don’t like pictures either?” I asked.

Dean snorted and huffed out. “Not really.”

I hugged him and said, “come on! This is going to the best day ever! We need pictures to remember this day!”

Dean shrugged and ran after Ana and me.

After a fun-packed day in the carnival, Ana drove us back to her house. I was in awe of the entrance. It was electronic and the guardsmen had to open it with a button. Ana said it was for safe measure. Her husband was the lead of the police squad. They needed all the protection they could get.

The house had five bedrooms, a kitchen that had a built-in bar, a dining room, a living room, a family room, five bathrooms, a pool, two guest houses in the back, and the five bedrooms upstairs. Dean had a prince room while Ana and her husband shared a big room. They even kept their nursery to their side. They said the nursery was being built. I would sleep over but the rooms were bigger than my rooms and I don’t think I would like a big room by myself.

It didn’t really matter to Dean. Dean hated the room and he didn’t appreciate the things he had. I noticed he wasn’t a happy person most of the time. He rained on all the adventures we had. Dean didn’t enjoyment in our outings. Ana said that was just him but I knew why he was so upset. He never got over the fact that Olie tormented him. Olie did damage to me but I knew she wasn’t a problem anymore. She was gone.

I guess I never really knew why it was such a big deal. Dean killed himself on his birthday. He stole the kitchen knives and when the police found him, he stabbed himself around in the chest. They found him lying next to his bed with a picture of Ana, me and him in one of those photo booths we had in the carnivals. When the news strike Ana, Ana cried for days and nights. Catherine allowed me to go to Ana’s house. I was to console Ana but I knew I was no help. Dean was her sunshine. He was her first born son. I just somehow wished things could have been different.

“Ana, it’s okay. Things will be better. I’m sorry. Dean just couldn’t handle the fact to move on.” I cried.

Ana looked up at me and hugged her round belly. “I wish he didn’t do that! I was going to tell him today he was having a sister! He always wanted a sister, Vivi!” She screamed out as she grabbed me and hugged me close to her chest.

Dean always wanted a sister. I knew that. When Dean told me his mommy was going to have a baby, Dean mentioned he wanted a younger sister to look after. He said I was like his sister. Then it hit me. Dean regarded me as a sister. We have been for each other since he was born. When Olie raped us, he felt alone and sad. Dean liked to think of himself as the glorious hero who could help all the lovely girls, especially those who were like his sisters. It must have pained him badly when he couldn’t save me from Olie.  He watched me get tortured as he laid next to me, tied up, and wasn’t able to do anything. I felt really bad. I figured maybe because we met each other was a bad thing. If he didn’t meet me, the fears of not being a hero affected him. Maybe we should have never met.

I shook my head. I refused to think that! It was such a short brief meeting with him but I was glad I had that short amount of time with him.

~

In his wake, Ana, her husband, Catherine, the girls I lived with, Dean’s teachers, psychiatrist, some of her husband’s friends, and some of Ana’s coworkers went to Dean’s wake. I looked around and I couldn’t help but notice the little amount of people present. I shook my head. Dean deserved a lot more than this. I looked at Dean’s open casket and noticed him laying there, still.

We finally got up to plant flowers of good wishes for him. We walked behind each other as I watched Ana being helped away. She cried at his coffin and hugged his corpse. Her husband helped Ana up as Ana wept onto his shoulders. When it was my time to go up, I noticed Dean’s slight bald head as his blonde hair was growing. His eyes were closed shut as his lips were a pale pink. He wore a tuxedo as his hands folded over each other. The wound that he inflicted upon himself was covered by an abundance of flowers. I placed my flower on his hand and quietly said,

“Dean, I hope you are having a great time up there. You deserve to be up there. I hope you can open the doors for me. I am sorry I caused such painful memories and I am sorry you have to leave me so soon. Dean, I really want you to know I enjoyed being your friend. I hope we can still be friends and I hope you are watching over me as the big brother you want to be. I love you. Good bye for now.”

I quietly mumbled a prayer and walked away from the stage. My hands clenched around my heart as I wept a few tears. I ran to Ana and hugged her tightly .I felt so sorry for her and myself. Dean didn’t deserve to die. He was young and full of life. Just what Olie did cause him to push himself over the edge? Dean needed support and he had it. Was I to be blame for his death?

They brought his body to the Hearst as we went inside our cars to drive after. We were going to the graveyard to watch his coffin be buried.  

They lowered his coffin inside the Earth as I looked down at it. I whispered my goodbyes. Ana let out a wild wail and cursed Olie. Ana’s husband, Henry, had to drag her away from the procession. The Father said a little prayer as i began to pick up the dirt. I threw the dirt at Dean’s coffin then people started following the same thing.

When Dean was fully buried, we all said goodbye and good luck to Ana. Ana hugged me and said, “Promise to visit, Vivian. You will always be my little girl.” She said.

I looked up at her and smiled, “yes Ana. I’m sorry. Good luck.”

Ana squeezed my shoulder as I walked with Catherine and the other girls to our miniwan. When I looked back, I looked at Ana as she hugged the tombstone over Dean’s grave. Henry stayed behind and watched his wife weep over her son.

~

Life pulls you up and sometimes life pulls you down. It drags you down and the moments you need to rely on someone, they aren’t there. They were gone like the wind. I watched my life flew past my eyes. Ana delivered a beautiful baby girl. She named her Penelope Vivian Bugbey after Henry’s mother and me. Ana and Henry were expecting twins after Penelope. This time the kids were boys. Ana figured Dean’s death was the cause of her not paying much attention to him. She thought he was over the rape but he never was. Ana kept in touch me for that main reason.

Catherine aged as the time flew by. Her health was failing and she knew she couldn’t run the babysitting center or us anymore. I watched Haylie leave for her new home. She went off to college and left the house to study for medicine. She saved enough money to buy herself an apartment shared with a roommate. Jasmine and Ariel grew up to be stubborn teenagers and Catherine said it was tough to discipline them so she sent them to a boarding school for teen girls. Willow and Lana grew as beautiful ballerinas and pageant queens. The two were bought by the modeling agency who decided to take them in as their own children. The girls were now actresses and models.  As for me,  I stayed with Catherine until she breathed her last breath.

Catherine died at age of forty four due to cancer. I was now fourteen and on the verge of discovery teenage years. I needed a mother figure but Catherine wasn’t here. So as a teen I started experimenting with life.

Author’s Note: VVIAN AS A TEEN. READY GUYS?