A Love (harry styles)

part 39

"Katy?" Harry's voice brings me back to reality. worry flashes over his beautiful green eyes.

"sorry.. i.. i just." i stutter. my head spins with the new information, Harry actually loves me, but why? what can he possibly like in me? what are you supposed to do with this situation? my heart hurts along with my head.

"why did i say that?" Harry groans and cups his face with his hands, only to plop himself on the hard mattress again. "i'm such an asshole." he mumbles into his hands.

i stay quiet, i have so much to say but in the same time, i'm blank. the thing is, that i don't know what i'm feeling about this. about him. we can't never be friends again, not normal ones that's for sure. that thought brings me back to the day at the kites show where me and Harry kissed, when i told myself that we could never turn this around but Harry told me it will be okay, that we could get pass this and act like it never happened. which at a time i thought insulting that he can forget it ever happened and be so unaffected by it. but this was different, he confessed his love for me, it's an emotion that someone shares with you something he feels towards you, you can't brush that aside..

a knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts and Niall came in with a grocery bag and a few balloons, the sight made me chuckle, Harry was still with his hands on his face, not caring for his friend who just walked in in this vulnerable moment, but i felt relieved. 

"what's wrong?" Niall asked while placing the grocery bag on the night stand on the other side of Harry's hospital bed.

"nothing." i breathed. 

"you sure?" he asked pointing at the curly, bruised boy laying on the bed. i nod and he looks over at Harry.

"um.. i better go.." i stutter and walk towards the door.

"thank you for coming to see him Katy." Niall says quietly, i nod and exit the door after taking one less glance at Harry, his hands still on his face. i text Dani to come and pick me up and stick the phone back into my pocket.

this is not the way i wanted for someone to tell me he loves me, in  a hospital bed, with injuries and out of anger and frustration. i step outside the building and lean on the wall putting my fingers through my hair in confusion and frustration. what should i do next? should i deny him? am i in love with him too? "this isn't love." Harry's words echoing in my brain and i groan in annoyance. how can he possibly know what love is? i'm sure he never an actual girlfriend to call what they had together 'love' . 

"Katy, right?" a female voice ripping my endless line of questions. i look up only to meet a familiar blond hair and a tall figure.

"it is you!" she smiles. 

then i remembered, that's Michel? i think that was her name. i cringed immediately at the reminder of Christian's hand on her toned leg.

"hi." i shyly smiled.

"what are you doing here?" she asked. coming closer.

"i..i came to visit a friend."

"oh.. OK i won't be nosy about it." she jokes.

"you'r Christian's sister, right?" i ask her, her playful mood shots down at my question, which is a bit suspicious.

"yeah i am." she says. a fake smile spread across her make-uped face. a car beeped behind me, i jumped and looked behind me to find Dani in his car laughing at my startled respond. i  stick my tongue out to him and turn to walk towards his car.

"nice seeing you." i turn to the blond female.

"you too." she smile and i open the car door and slide inside.

-Harry's pov-

"nothing is OK, right mate?" Niall asks me. 

"i'm so stupid." i sighed. "i told her how i feel, Niall. and worst of all, how i feel about her relationship with that asshole Christian."

Niall's mouth opens in shock, i turn my face away in disbelieve because of my own words. she will never come around from this, not after what i threw at her. i love her, i really do, but she will never feel the same. she's caught up in the thought of Christian being the one for her, completely blind. i wish she could be here still and tell me she loves me too, i could kiss her and let her know how much i love her, unlike her own boyfriend. i wanted to tell her that i know it isn't love because she came to see me in the hospital instead of being at home, taking care of her long time boyfriend.

"how did she react?" Niall asks.

"she didn't, she was in shock. i don't know why."

"you told her you love her after beating her boyfriend and criticizing her relationship, how do you think she will respond?" he says. i'm getting annoyed at his reasonable words.

i sigh, Niall leans back against the chair and looks at his nails.

"what can i do? Katy is... not like what i know, she's spacial. if i'm doomed to be her friend for the rest of my life i'll take it instead of her never speaking to me again.." i run my hands through my hair following every word i said. it hurts to think about it, Katy never noticing me, ignoring me in any option she gets. i will never want that.

"listen dude, i was there i know how he treats her, behind her back and in front of it but... what can you do? if she says she loves him then she knows." Niall shrugs.

"that's the point. i don't want her to keep being with this shit of a man, i can be a better boyfriend than him, especially to Katy." i point out. "i want her to happy."

"then let her choose..." 

"with me." i frown.

"don't push her mate, let her think about it." Niall sighs.

i signal for Niall to bring me my phone and he oblige. i scroll through my contacts and press Katy's name.

*think about it?*  i write down and press -send-

i waited for what looks like eternity, when my phone vibrates.

*i will...*