Daniels P.O.V
Dr. Owens had been talking about letting us out. Well, Danny anyway. He seriously wants to integrate us before he let's us out, but let's face it, I'm not going to let that happen. Not if I can help it anyway. Although, the idea of getting out of this hell hole wasn't a bad idea.
What good was I doing here anyway? The only two people id ever really loved were gone. I'd lost Ben, by no fault of my own and then I pushed Cameron away. Which is something I didn't want to do.
I guess I thought in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe one day Cameron would decide he wanted to be with Danny. Then, at least I could be with him in some way.
I was created to help Danny. Help him with the things he can't handle on his own.
I hated going to therapy at first, but Dr. Owens wasn't a bad guy. In fact, he was actually pretty smart. He knew what he was talking about. And he was also the first person to ever thank me for what I did for him.
That alone meant more to me than he realizes. Maybe it was time for me to go. I'd done what I was created to do. Then again, I've caused Danny more heartache. I honestly didn't mean to do that. I just wanted the pain to stop. But it didn't. In fact, it made it worse.
I was supposed to see the good old doctor in less than 10 minutes. I wasn't sure what would happen at this session. I no longer cared.
I sighed and slipped on my shoes and headed out the door. I took a breath when I stopped in front of Dr. Owens' door and waited for him to answer.
It wasn't long till I heard him on the other side, telling me to come in.
For all I know this could very well be the end of me. Well, here goes nothing.
"Hello, Daniel. Come on in" he said.
I did as I was told and shut the door behind me, talking a seat on the couch.
For some reason I was a little nervous for this session. Dr. Owens took a seat, sliding his car in front of where I was seated and took a deep breath. Here we go.
"Daniel, I honestly don't know what to do with you. I'm not sure how to handle this situation anymore. The things I thought would help, have in turn only made things worse. And I'm sorry for that. That was never my intention. I hope you know that."
I nodded. As much as I wanted to hate the man, I know he truly did have my best intentions in mind. And I knew none of this was his fault.
"I know, this isn't your fault..." I started with a sigh. "As a matter of fact, I'm ready to admit it's my fault. I've lost the two people that meant the most to me. Ben's gone and because of what I did to James, I pushed Cameron away." I wiped at my eyes quickly as I felt them welling up with tears. "I'm tired of figuring, Dr. Owens. Please. Integrate me."
By the time I looked up, Dr. Owens mouth was wide open and he looked as though he'd seem a ghost.
"Just like that? Most alters wouldn't ever consider letting me do what you're talking about. Are you sure now?" He asked once more.
I nodded and swallowed back my tears. "Yes, I'm sure." I said, giving him a nod.
"Well, the first step will be letting Danny back out and having him go through everything. Even the things that caused him to break in the first place."
I nodded and closed my eyes. This was it.
Danny's P.O.V
Why was Daniel pushing me back out? I didn't want to be out. I wanted to stay inside my own head where I don't have to deal with the bullshit on the outside. Most of the time I couldn't fight my way back out, but now, he was forcing me.
I sighed and slowly opened my eyes. Dr. Owens was sitting in front of me. His eyes were sad and this time he wasn't smiling. This wasn't good. Something was wrong.
"What, why am I here?" I asked. The last thing I wanted to do was have to deal with everything.
"You're here because Daniel has decided to let you become integrated" Dr. Owens began, taking a sip of his coffee. "Are you okay with that?"
No. Hell no I wasn't okay with that. I created Daniel to protect me from the things I couldn't handle.
"I'm not sure I'm ready." I replied softly.
Dr. Owens nodded. I knew deep down he understood why I wasn't sure I was ready. In order to be integrated I needed to relive the things that made me split in the first place.
"I understand, Danny. We'll get started today, but we won't do it all in one day. We'll do a little at a time to make it a bit easier. Are you okay with that?" He asked.
I nodded and took in a deep breath. This was going to be hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever been through, next to losing Ben.
"So, Daniel was created years ago, back when you were heavily into drugs. Did you know that?" He asked.
I shook my head. Truthfully I wasn't sure when Daniel had first made his appearance known.
"Yes, apparently you'd od'ed one night and was on the verge of death. It was Daniel who actually came out and went through pumping his stomach and all that. "
I swallowed hard. This was already hard and we were just starting. I took in a few breaths to compose myself and nodded for him to continue.
"Are you okay, Danny?" He asked.
No. I'm not. I nodded my head and lit a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling the smoke slowly.
"After Ben died, Daniel came out. Do you remember having a mini breakdown?" He asked.
I nodded. I vaguely remember that.
"That's when he began hating James.
I sighed, shaking my head. I don't know if I was ready to hear the rest of this.
"Why does he hate James so much?" I asked, unsure if he could answer that.
"Basically he felt like because sam and James were happy, that he didn't care about you or Ben. I guess Sam came and checked on him a few times."
I let my eyes slip closed and took in a deep breath. "James is my brother..or was anyway." I corrected myself.
Dr. Owens nodded. "He still loves you Danny. He's just scared and hurt. So is Sam.." He added.
I don't blame them. I wouldn't want anything to do with me if I were them. "What about Cameron?" I asked softly.
"Cameron cares a great deal for you. He always has. Daniel admitted he was in love with Cameron. And Cameron admitted before you got with Ben, he wanted to be with you."
My mouth dropped and I looked up at the doctor in disbelief. Had I heard him right? Cameron wanted to be with me at one time? How did I never know?
"Are you serious?" I asked.
He nodded and smiled at me softly. "Yes, he admitted all this stuff to Daniel. And I believe that's why he was so quick to let you be integrated. He didn't want to deal with seeing you all the time." He said.
I swallowed hard and shook my head. I had to admit, when I first met
Cameron I found him attractive. But Ben was always my number one. I thought Ben and I were going to grow old together. But that isn't possible now.
"I can't believe that" I began, "when I first met Cameron, before Ben and I got together, I thought he was really attractive. But he never acted on his feelings. And Ben did..." My voice trailed off.
"And how do you feel now?" He asked.
"Confused. Flattered. I don't know. I'm a whole bunch of things all rolled into one." I said matter of factly.
"Give me a minute" he said as he stepped out of the room, returning a few minutes later. "Cameron's agreed to come in. He'll be here soon." He said.
Oh shit.
