stardust|completed

twenty three|(boy)friend

"maybe I'm broken maybe I'm wrong I could've spoken sooner than I should have."
not edited
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I was throwing rocks at Jasper's window, again. One would think I watched way too many cheesy 80s movies, all I needed was a boom box, a camera man, and a confession of my undying love.

"Jasper already took care of that last one, didn't he?" I grumbled to myself under my breath.

Five minutes later and about twenty rocks thrown Jasper's curtains moved and he appeared shirtless in the window.

History repeated itself as I threw another rock in hopes of hitting him. Sadly he seemed to realize my intentions and caught it in his left hand.

"Just like old times Nyx," he was lazily leaning out the window and playing with the rock.

"I read your letter," he didn't freeze up like I expected him to. In fact his lips curled into his signature 'up to no good' grin.

"I know," he disappeared and a few moments later I could here the front door unlock and open.

His stupid nipple piercing glinted in the moonlight as he beckoned me inside and up the stairs.

Jasper began to settle himself on the bed and I sunk down into the bean bag across from him.

"So the letter..." I prompted after we were both situated.

"I'm surprised you read it so soon. I knew your undying curiosity would lead you to open it but with Mystery Man in the picture, did you call him Orion? Regardless, he must really have an effect on you, it hasn't even been 24 hours and here you are."

Jasper hadn't turned the light on as we entered the room so all I saw was his silhouette stretched across the bed. His condescending tone angered me but I had promised myself not to resort to physical violence and to get the answers I wanted.

"Jasper we both know why I'm here. The end of your letter..." My voice trailed off as I tried to find the right words. "You don't love me," I finished firmly.

"I don't," he agreed easily.

"Jasper look, I've prepared 10 reasons why you don't love me so just hear me out and—" I paused in my rant when I realized what he had said.

"Then why did you write 'I love you, Nyx' in your stupid god damn letter?"

"Nyx, I wrote that letter when we were both 15. And I really did love you then, well as much as a 15 year old boy can. The only reason I gave it to you was so you would talk to me again."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I whispered under my breath glaring at Japser in utter rage.

The room was filled with tense silence as I contemplated my options. In all honestly the relief that coursed through me matched my rage at being tricked. In the end I let out a breath of relief and laughed a little.

"So you don't love me," I clarified.

"Not romantically Nyx. You're my best friend, even when you didn't want to be. I know you want an explanation as to why I called the police. And as much as I want to explain the 'why' to what I did, that's not the only reason I have to talk to you. Nyx there's something different about you, something a lot darker that you didn't have when I left." Jasper had shifted spots, leaning forward towards me. I could just make out the concerned pull of his eyebrows with the moon shining through the window.

"Let's just put all that behind us, okay? I don't need an explanation anymore." In fact my mind had just connected all the dots on that situation.

Ignoring his comment about my change in behavior I extended my hand, "Friends?"

He pushed my hand away and engulfed me in a tight hug, "Always."

My eyes were on the verge of tearing up when I pushed him away, "Alright enough with this cheesy crap. We've got school tomorrow, see you then?"

He nodded, "Nyx we still have to talk about—"

I cut him off, "Another time, it's 3 in the morning. Besides we've got plenty of it now that we're friends again."

Giving him a short wave I exited his room and made my way to mine.

Surprisingly I fell asleep an hour later with a smile on my face. Better yet, I didn't feel so alone anymore.

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6/27/16
drunk